Growing older, but not up

I realized at a cookout this weekend being hosted by one of my wife's friends that my wife and her friends are getting old. Sure she’s a year and a half younger than me, but that’s beside the point. I decided a long time ago that twelve was the perfect age for me and I’ve been holding there ever since (this year I celebrate the 18th anniversary of being twelve).

In the past year a majority of the people that attended the cookout had replaced their beer stocked coolers with diaper bags & strollers and replaced their fashionable car with something more reasonable like a minivan or station wagon.

Of course at the get together we were peppered with the: “So when are you guys going to have a kid� question. There were two responses to this question, depending on whether or not the wife was within ear shot. If she could hear my response, it was: “I’m the only child my wife wants running around the house�. If she couldn’t hear me my response was: “What you got laid [Insert age of child plus 9 months here] and have been celibate from then on, are you so bitter that someone else has a great sex life that you’re trying to end it by pressuring them to have kids? What the hell is wrong with you? Can’t you stand to see someone else happy?� For some reason they normally walked away after I gave them my response when the wife wasn't within earshot.

She was of course met with questions about why I was so bitter. When they’d ask and look my way I’d just smile and wave. I'm not sure what her response was, but I'm sure it included her pet name for me (it starts with Jack, I'll let you guess the ending).

Me I’m still the same happy twelve year old I was when we left for the cookout.