Things every man should know

Being a simpleton as I’ve been told on more than once it doesn’t take much to amuse me. Often times I find things thoroughly amusing that my wife is appalled by. Having only been married a short time (three and a half wonderful years if you’re reading dear and an eternity if you aren’t) there are several things I think every man should know.

• It is never intelligent to discuss your wife’s sister’s hotness with her, or the hotness of her friend (that is single and promiscuous) or the hotness of her mom.
• Referring to your wife as “Ol’ Hatefullâ€� because she spouts off at the mouth every thirty seconds isn’t a wise decision.
• Who lit the fuse on your tampon is not an appropriate response to any question for any reason.
• It isn’t acceptable to pee in the sink, even if you move the dishes to the other side.
• If you have a dog and it is a female, you still can’t get away with saying you’re going home to spend time with the bitch.
• Using all the hot water for any reason prior to the misses taking a bath is equal to giving her written permission to remove your whozits, through your nose.
• According to some unwritten law attempting a covered wagon is grounds for a swift kick in the nads at a date to be determined.
• The answer to “Does this skirt, top, dress, etc.. make me look fat?â€� is never: well since you’ve mentioned it…
• If you’ve ever complimented your wife and she replies with: “daddy says I’m the bestâ€� you should be very concerned.
• I don’t care how hot her sister is you can't discuss it with your wife