Make your move movie ....

Today is Tuesday and you know what that means, its nudie magazine day time for the demystifying diva and the men's club to cover another topic. This week's topic, movies more specifically Chick / Guy Flicks.

I discussed the topic a bit with the wife this past weekend on our trip home from best buy. She's a fan of chick flicks (Never Been Kissed, She's All That, Steal Magnolias, The Yahooligans Sisterhood, Pretty Woman). Of no surprise to anyone I'm the stereotypical male when it comes to movie, if something blows up, or there's T. & A. I'm happy, if both are involved I'm even happier, if there's a lesbian love scene and lots of explosions I'm ecstatic (note the lesbians have to be attractive, Rosie O'Donnell and Ellen getting naked in a movie would be deal breaker, this wasn't discussed with the Wife).

I tried while pondering this post, as I have in the past, to figure out the appeal of chick flicks. Why, why, why do women feel the need to watch a movie that is going to make them cry? I've never understood it, probably never will. The Wife has pretty much given up on explaining the appeal of these types of movies. I admit it partially has to do with my coarse and unsympathetic nature; however a decent explanation would still be greatly appreciated. I'm sure I'll get ripped to shreds for this, but I've come the following conclusions regarding the reasons some women are addicted to chick flicks.

1. Its plain and simple enthralled. For a brief moment they're able to push aside all their worries and become completely enthrawled in the details of someone else’s problems. Problems which are nine times out of ten solved by the movie.

2. They're infatuated with the search for the perfect man. For women that have never been married they're clinging to the hope that their price charming is going to come riding into their lives and rescue them from the Cube Farm. They're just waiting for the perfect guy to sweep them away to live in his castle with an ocean view.

3. They're waiting for their chance to prove to the world they're just an extreme makeover away from being Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman or Rachael Leigh Cook in She's All That.

4. They're bitter shrews waiting for their chance to show their ex-boyfriend they're better of without them. Okay, maybe bitter shrews is a bit harsh, but how many people (guys included) have watched one of the life improves after High school / College movies and thought: Damn I'd love to show that putz / skank how much better my life is without them.

Guy movies on the other hand are much easier to figure out; probably because men are much simpler creatures.
Features for a successful guy movie.
1. Fast Cars
2. Fast Women
3. Lots of Explosions
4. Gross comedy or guys getting hit in the nuts
5. Sports based movie allowing men to relive high school / college glory days
6. A never before seen set of chesticles (Swordfish - Halle Barry & The Gift - Katie Holmes).

Features for a very successful guy movie.
1. Fast Cars + Fast Women
2. Fast Cars + Lots of explosions
3. Lots of naked men women. *

Features for a Blockbuster
1. Fast Cars or Lots of Explosions with Fast women making out with each other.
Features for a guy that will fail
1. Rosie O'Donnell or any other unattractive angry lesbian Naked.
2. Naked men (We don't care for comparisons)

Pretty much it boils down to the same old deal of women being complex and men being simple. Luckily there are movies in the middle ground, comedies (even some of the romantic comedies) may very well be the saving grace for men and women to live in harmony on movie night.

The following quotes are out of context (inspired by Sadie of course), thus you should read their entire post to put it (the quote) into place (context).

For those of you wondering the oldest profession is apparently still alive and well in L.A. The Minister of Propaganda finally admits to being a gigolo "I live in Los Angeles and I work in the Industry."

Sadie admits to a gender identity crisis "I am a man" and says "Oh woe is me. Who will ever save me from this terrible fate?"
Chrissy says "it was all about me!"
Kathy says "it works to keep the marital strife to a minimum."
Silk says "it is impolite to drool over another mans pert buttocks if you are sitting with a guy on a first date." I'm betting that hasn't stopped her though.
I hope Margi wasn't including me in the group that "behaved like eunuchs in public".

Stiggyis putting the final touches on his err, umm post.

The Wizard may be MIA, it depends upon how the fishing has been the past couple of day.

Note: Starting next week Tuesdays are moving to Thursdays. Okay well the whole day isn't moving, just the schedule of when we're discussing topics. See aren't you glad we didn't move the whole day, otherwise you'd have another couple of days before the Friday and that'd be no good.

* Thanks to owlish for pointing out the type-o, boy howdy what a difference two llittle letters make.

Posted by phineas g. at 12:00 PM on June 28, 2005

I will say this about some of the chick flicks, sometimes it is really good to see a woman on the screen who may be more attractive than I am who is sooo much more screwed up. If she ends up getting the guy, then there is all the more hope...

; )

Posted by: Chrissy at June 28, 2005 05:03 PM

Dude, reread your #3 under a very successful guy movie. While fast cars, explosions, and lots of naked men would be my idea of a great movie, it's probably not yours.

Posted by: owlish at June 28, 2005 07:59 PM

Dayum. *Ahem* anyway, I want the truth on where you were really shopping over the weekend. It was Target, wasn't it?

Posted by: sadie at June 28, 2005 09:34 PM

* Hangs head in shame *
Best Buy was after Target.

Called out on me own little bit o' the interweb, I'm so ashamed.

Posted by: phin at June 28, 2005 10:23 PM