By liberal powers of deduction....

Confederate Yankee's post: You Ain't Seen Huffin' Like the Flighty Quinn points out the fallacy of the allowing ultra-liberals in the media. She's tried to read between the lines and find things that just aren't there and got caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

Beth Quinn of Middletown, New York's Times Herald-Record recently put her mega-liberal powers of deduction to work in an editorial named Proof is in the memo: Soldiers died for a lie and claims that "Bush had already decided to attack. It also says Bush knew there were no WMDs in Iraq, but that 'the facts were being fixed around the policy.'" Beth demands a confession from President Bush and helps stops just short of offering to provide an outlet for al-Qa'ida's members to vent their sexual frustration.*

As I read Beth's editorial I became infatuated with the powers of deduction granted her via her ultra-liberal world views. With powers of deduction such as these it's no wonder the "reality based community" is looking to impeach President Bush, I mean Sherlock Holmes doesn't hold a candle to Beth Quinn. As I pondered these powers over several adult beverages (Gin and Tonic to be exact) I started to realize how her powers of deduction work and put them to the test.

Lets list the facts:
Beth Quinn is a feminine name, so we figure she's female.
She appears to be a female (her headshot is on The Herald's web site).
The tone of her article is accusatory and demanding, considered masculine characteristics.
She's wearing a red shirt (I've never been a big fan of red clothes).

Thus I've deduced that Beth actually has (insert drum roll) Klinefelter's syndrome. Yes ladies and gentlemen, instead of your typical XY (male) or XX (female) chromosomal makeup Beth's chromosomal composition is that of XXY. Resulting in chesticles with a six-incher below the belt. It seems our darling of not-so-journalistic integrity is actually a hermaphrodite.

Sure I have absolutely no basis for this conclusion other than the powers of deduction granted to me by consuming mass quantities of Gin. Which seem to be the same powers of deduction she used to determine President Bush lied and calling for Secretary Rumsfeld to be charged as a war criminal.

I know 'tis alarming .... the powers of thinking like a liberal are only a half gallon away.

Note: This entire post is a poor attempt a humor. Well mostly.
* She really didn't offer her services to Al Qa'ida's members

Posted by phineas g. at 09:50 AM on July 01, 2005 | TrackBack

There must be some kind of Lib brain damage to explain such idiocy. You can't do much more than make fun of it in the hopes that undamaged minds may take heed and avoid contact.

Posted by: Mark at July 1, 2005 01:42 PM

i'll have to remember to send you a red shirt as a gift for your favourite holiday.... ; )

Posted by: amelie at July 3, 2005 11:26 PM