The new math

My collegiate career left me three or four courses shy of having a bachelors of science in Mathematics. For some reason the brain trusts that formed the Computer Science curriculum, and not just at the school I attended, decided Math should be the predominant theme.

The early years of my collegiate experience (I spent a total of eight years enrolled full time) were spent studying Linear Algebra, Calculus and Statistics. From there as I moved into courses geared more towards my "major" I was taking Discrete Mathematics, Computation and Complexity Theory, and other various math courses mixed in with the computer science courses. During these courses I've seen and studied numbers enough to drive sane men batty and to push those of us already teetering on the edge into full blown insanity.

After gradiashun I'd decided the real world wasn't for me, plus the tech bubble was about to burst, so I decided to stay in skool. I'd started out going after my Masters Degree in Computer Science, then after another semester spent in the hallowed halls of the Math Building (which had a perpetual aroma of body odor) I decided I'd switch gears and become an SOB. Well at least I'd be a certifiable SOB since I was going after my MBA, I'd officially be a School Of Business student.

Thus the focus of my mathematical edumicatshun switched focus. No longer was I writing three and four page proofs to solve one question, I was now concerned with Debts and Credits, Micro and Macro Economics, Financial Reports and how to tame the Shrew using Statistics once again.

Yet all these courses failed to teach me anything about the facts of life. Yes during my eight years of College one course backed up theories of "New Math". That indeed 1 + 1 = 3, and in some cases 1 + 1 = 4 or more. I've spent hour upon hour researching this on Al Gore's wonderful internet and I've found a couple of sites stating this to be true, yet they fall to the way side with all the naked midgets and dancing penguins available.

Proof folks I've got photographic, and other graphic, proof that 1 + 1 = =3. See the missus is "with child", so Me + Her = phin jr. Of course negotiations are still taking place in the naming arena as she isn't a fan of naming him phin. The missus has reached week 22, or is it 23, of the impregnation cycle and all things are progressing fairly well. No morning, afternoon or evening sickness, not significant cravings of any sort and she hasn't broken my fingers yet (although a couple of ribs are in questionable shape).

A couple of weeks back she had an ultrasound done, things are progressing as expected. Ten Fingers, Ten Toes, Eyes, Ears, Mouth, a dangling participle, Yay a dangling participle. He's a boy and he isn't bashful (just like dear ole dad). We were given pictorial proof that we (or at least she) had had "the sex" and gotten it right.

The pictures are below in the extended entry, bloggering may be light the next day or two as I'll be in meetings since 1 + 1 an additional mouth to feed.

It's a Boy!!!

I've tried to talk the missus into the nickname of Tripod until he's born but she isn't going for that name either. I guess in the interest of self preservation and harmony we'll go with Whozit or Junior.

Posted by phineas g. at 11:20 AM on October 24, 2005 | TrackBack


(BTW, does that qualify for child pr0n??)

; )

Posted by: Chrissy at October 24, 2005 01:02 PM


Posted by: Theresa at October 24, 2005 01:11 PM

Congrats, man! You guys haven't ruled out "Flounder" yet, have you?

Posted by: That 1 Guy at October 24, 2005 01:26 PM


Posted by: caltechgirl at October 24, 2005 01:28 PM


Posted by: Moogie at October 24, 2005 01:49 PM

.. hot damn!.. good going, Phin!..

Posted by: Eric at October 24, 2005 02:09 PM

Well done!

Posted by: Allan at October 24, 2005 02:35 PM

That is fabulous news! Congratulations to you both! I guess it really is contagious!

Posted by: Phoenix at October 24, 2005 02:55 PM

Hey, congratulations to you and the missus!

As far as naming your New Addition: Have you considered "Mackerel"?

Posted by: Dave at October 24, 2005 03:49 PM

I've already seen these, but still a cute kid! ;)

Posted by: Kathy at October 24, 2005 04:00 PM

Congratulations! May he not give ya'll quite as much trouble as you gave your parents.

Posted by: owlish at October 24, 2005 05:33 PM

WooHoo!! What wonderful news. Congratulations!!!!

Posted by: Tammi at October 24, 2005 08:01 PM

congrats, uncle phin! and to the missus as well! i look forward to the little blogcousin-to-be :D

Posted by: amelie at October 24, 2005 09:49 PM

I think you should be calling it "Tadpole" for the time being.

Posted by: sadie at October 25, 2005 12:10 AM

I don't see any fins...are you sure he doesn't look like the milkman?

Again hun, a billion congrattos. He'll be gorgeous! Try not to annoy the missus too much when she's hormonal ;)

Posted by: silk at October 25, 2005 04:37 AM

Oh that is wonderful!!! What beautiful pictures and exciting news! Many congratulations to you both!

Posted by: oddybobo at October 25, 2005 08:36 AM

Congrats! Just some advice: 1)Do not make whale noises at your wife while she is in the bath. 2) Do not make cow noises while she is "grazing" in the kitchen again... for the fifth time... that hour. 3) Do not ask her if you can milk her in preperation for the child. If you do, do not bring a bucket with you.

My wife never had any strange cravings during the pregnancy. I was rather disappointed, I was hoping for an Ice Cream with Salsa craving or something.

Posted by: Contagion at October 25, 2005 09:18 AM

congrats, uncle phin!

Uh, he's the Daddy.

I'm the uncle.

I'd explain how it all works, but...

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at October 25, 2005 09:46 AM

Congratulations! Welcome to the club!

One word for you:


Learn it, it will serve you well.

Posted by: Brian B at October 25, 2005 12:49 PM

Awww. I love baby pictures!

Congratulations to you and The Missus!!

Posted by: Margi at October 25, 2005 02:12 PM

he may be the daddy, but he's my bloguncle! :P

Posted by: amelie at October 25, 2005 03:51 PM

Super huge big congratulations to you, you virile hunk of a man, you!

Posted by: RP at October 25, 2005 04:04 PM


Posted by: seawitch at October 25, 2005 09:02 PM

Hooray! More munubabies!

Posted by: Pixy Misa at October 25, 2005 11:12 PM

"Must have been something in the water."


"Wow! He looks just like you!"

Nah, we'll go with this one...

"Congratulations!" :-)

Posted by: Jim at October 30, 2005 11:49 AM