The wolves den
This morning involved a trip to the doctor's office with el pregito aka the lovely bride for a routine check up and the gestational diabetes test. Now I've always been one to study for tests (family members need not correct this lie) so the gestational diabetes test seemed kinda easy to me. All you've got to do is drink a yummy looking orange drink and then wait an hour for them to draw a couple of vials of blood.
I sure hope she passed the test as she didn't study much and she must not like orange drinks 'cause she was making funny faces as she drank it. I tried to taste the drink, but she wouldn't let me, something about me getting pregnant, she was mumbling so I didn't quiet understand it. Well that and I was busy opening a honey bun to eat for breakfast, the cellophane wrappers sure are noisy.
Something I did observe though is the "pack mentality" of pregnant women. See there we were, the missus and me, and three or four other women who are pregnant or have the biggest beer bellies I've ever seen, chatting away. Then a somewhat, but not really*, attractive woman walked into the office and had the audacity to be skinny around all those pregnant chics. Now that's when the snarls formed and the fangs started showing. From the glances these women, who'd be basking in each other's pregnancy glow just minutes before, you could hear them calling the chic that walked in a skinny bitch.
The other expectant father in the lobby noticed the same thing and we laughed about it until we were became the recipients of said glances.
* The utilization of a six pack and a paper bag would've made her a knockout.
That sounds so familiar down to the D-n honey bun even if it was 36 years ago!
Posted by: Edd at November 29, 2005 01:19 PMOf course there's no better place to pick up chicks than lamaze class.
Great post.
Posted by: Scott at November 29, 2005 04:24 PMPack mentality? Well, ok, you're right I suppose. The last thing a hugely pregnant woman needs is some skinny bitch who can still see her feet.
Posted by: Theresa at November 29, 2005 07:22 PMI read this post out loud to my pregnant wife. She laughed very hard. Especially about the honey bun. Considering she failed that same test with her first pregnancy, I'd say you have some talent.
Posted by: rp at November 29, 2005 09:04 PMOh. I failed that test with all three pregnancies. Then I failed the next test with two of them and was deemed 'gestational diabetic'. I haven't had an orange carbonated drink since my last pregnancy, 6.5 years ago. ;-)
(No I was not fat or eat poorly... it is just a window to my genetic future.)
Posted by: Bou at November 29, 2005 10:45 PM"el pregito" - don't use that one in the delivery room either.
Posted by: Sadie at November 30, 2005 08:05 AMI prefer the term pregnoid, but what ever you prefer.
This is so earily familiar, I went through this 3 years ago. If you really want to see the pregnoids get mad, wait until they see a woman that gave birth and can instantly fit right back into her old clothes. My wife is the "skinny Bitch" that did that.
Posted by: Contagion at November 30, 2005 09:59 AMI can't even fit into my fat clothes after the kid!
Oh, and the husband tried the honey bun thing, and some rabid pregnoid, to steal Contangion's words, grabbed it from his sticky hands and proceeded to scarf it down in a most undelicate manner. Oh, that was me . . .
Posted by: oddybobo at November 30, 2005 05:15 PMYeah. Well, I guess I'm part of the pack. But I'm mostly sitting there, watching women HALF MY AGE look good in their cute little pregnant clothes and thinking I need a truck to proceed me with a little yellow flashing light and a HONKIN' sign that says: "W I D E L O A D".
But I'm pretty sure that's just me.
P.S. The orange "soda" has gotten better over the past fifteen years but I just must have REALLY HEALTHY placentas and I am, for the second time (out of three), gestationally diabetic. So. I would just watch you eat your sticky bun with big, liquidy puppy dog eyes. Heh.
Posted by: Margi at November 30, 2005 07:49 PM
