The pussification of the American Male

Alternate Title: Guaranteed to be the fastest and easiest way to become a eunuch, or your money back!

I'm mentioned it before, but I just don't understand today's clothing designers fascination with low rise jeans for men. A stroll through your local mall will have you bearing witness to more ass-crack than you'd see at a plumber's convention. I've always avoided them, low rise jeans and men prominently displaying ass-crack, like the plague, yet these days it's getting to be impossible.

A ban at the office has been placed on said jeans, with promises of superglue and crack spackle being utilized to deal with offenders bearing their derrieres. Yet in spite of the warnings and memos being sent out one of the gentlemen, and I use the term loosely, hath purchased and worn said low-rise jeans to work. He did however turn out to be a source of amusement.

From the restroom after lunch we heard was a blood curling yelp followed by a string of obstinacies, in a notably higher pitch than he normally speaks in, and noticed a definite waddle as he gingerly made his way through the office.
Apparently he hadn't adjusted to the low-rise portion of the jeans and as he was snatching them into place they managed to split a hair or two, if you know what I mean.

It'd be one thing if he'd learn from his mistakes, yet he repeated said event, not once but twice. That's three times the laughter we typically get around the office when someone inadvertently attempts to neuter themselves. Of course I'd like to thank him for adding that extra bit of well deserved Clorox to the gene pool.