Snooze Button Questionaire

Paul! from Snooze Button Dreams has created a meme / questionnaire for the general public of the blogidohexiweb. I haven't done a meme in an while and since I've got nothing, the well runith dry, and the questions amuse me so here ya go.

1. You're futzing around with your iPod and slam your car into some other poor bastard’s in the parking lot of the liquor store. No one sees you and the owner of the other car is nowhere in sight. What do you do?
Leave a note with the contact information with the information of a co-worker that's pissed me off and run like hell to the nearest body shop.

2. You’re a guest in someone’s home for a dinner party. You excuse yourself to the restroom during dinner and have an episode of explosive diarrhea. Before you leave the bathroom you:
Walk out rubbing my belly and announce that my latest masterpiece is now available for viewing.

3. You’re sitting at a traffic light thinking about your sad, mundane life. You witness a minor traffic accident where no one is injured but plenty of damage is sustained to both vehicles. You clearly saw who was at fault. When the light turns green, you:
Drive off, while pointing and laughing at the poor sap who's gonna get one helluva increase on his next insurance bill.

4. You and several friends stop to pick up another friend on the way to a party. Your friend comes out wearing something that makes them look ridiculous, like a transvestite or you can clearly see a naughty bit sticking out somewhere. Do you:
Keep my yap shut until we reach the party, arrange for several photos to document the historic event, tell everybody at the party, then point it out on the way home.

5. You’re sitting in the conference room awaiting the start of a meeting. Six people are in attendance. Just as the handouts are coming around you hear audible flatulence, loud enough to be heard by everyone and certainly unmistakable. Do you:
Ask the boss what the hell they ate and offer to book them an appointment with a mortician or gastroenterologist.

6. You are on your way to the store. Your wife/husband/other asks you to get them something. Due to your own inability to either listen or think about anyone but yourself, you forget. When you come home, you:
Deny, deny, deny. Tell them you not only searched that store, but stopped at two others that were out of the way, which is why it took so long to get home (when I'd actually stopped at the bar for a pint or two).

6.5 When they ask you, "Did you ask someone who works there?" You:
Say "Damned skippy", the next shipment comes in tomorrow, I'll pick it up on the way home.

The only person I'm personally tagging is The Straight White Guy, mainly so he'll pass it along to his rabid fans that love memes. To the others, if you're reading and you're interested, consider yourself tagged.