Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn

Apparently the folks at FHM don't either. They've named Scarlett Johnasson as the Sexiest Woman in the World.

I.DON'T.GET.IT.

Really? Her? The sexiest woman in the world? Maybe I'm missing something, maybe I just ain't understanding where the rest o the world is coming from.

She does have mad drivin' skillz, think Mario Petty, on crystal meth.

Then there's the insight she gives into the "average" American's lives. Really, most Americans were disappointed by President Bush's re-election. That's why he had a majority of the votes.

Of course she's every man's dream, a faithful companion to the end. It's not her fault human beings aren't monogamous by nature. Relationships (among other things) are just so hard.

Her favorite feature? Her boobages. She was quoted in an interview with Harper's Bazaar as saying: "I'm proud of my girls. They're my charms, my feminine wiles".

Really, I just don't get it, sure she's got golden globes, but they aren't that golden.

Sure Scarlett's cute, but she's no Melissa Theuriau. Hell I bet Ms. Johnasson doesn't even have my name tattooed on her right butt cheek, yet.