Dirty Underwear Continued

Of all the reasons the missus has to bludgeon me to death I never really assumed it would be because I'd simply offered to help out. I guess as the old saying goes, no good deed goes unpunished, and neither shall I.

As you may have read in an earlier post the missus hosted a dirty underwear lingerie shower for the middle-sister-in-law this past weekend. Not wanting her, or the future brother-in-law (my fellow outlaw), to miss out on anything I made a several suggestions. See he's walking into this blind, only one or two of his friends are married so I've taken it upon myself to edumakate him on way to ensure happiness in marriage. There are things, at least a couple, that if the missus and I had to do over again we'd do differently. The first thing that popped into my mind was the "Lingerie Book".

Now I'm not sure if y'all know what a Lingerie Book is so I'll 'splain it. After the dirty underwear lingerie shower the bride to be books a day at the photographer's studio and he being a fellow pervert professional photographer snaps pictures to immortalize the moment and arranges them in a book for the new husband. Something to keep him warm at night when he's sleeping on the couch. It's a gift that keeps on giving, kinda like herpes.

Now the middle-sister-in-law is kind of shy and bashful so she didn't want some ole pervo snapping shots of her when she's all dolled up in her lacies. Everybody knows you don't want some stranger drooling over you, well most of us, when you're scantily clad and there's the stranger taking photographs, that's how folks find themselves in "compromising" positions on the Interwebs. So I offered to help, you know, making a personal sacrifice just so the young couple wouldn't miss out on anything the missus and I had missed out on.

Yep, I came up with the perfect solution, but the missus gunned it down. She didn't even take it into consideration. My suggestion, was not to have a stranger snap the shots, but to let me take the pictures. We've got a pretty nice camera and PhotoShop for the touch-ups, what else could they need?

But no, at the first mention of this brilliant plan the missus gave me a nasty look and let me know there was no way I'd be taking those photographs, hell I may be turned into a Eunich for suggesting it. I was crushed, actually devastated would be a better description, all I wanted to do was lend a helping hand, but no, she viewed it as some half-baked ill-thought out scheme so I could check out her sister in skimpy undies.

Really folks, do I strike y'all as the kind of person that would do something like that?

Here I am trying to lend a helping hand and I get smacked down. It's not like I keep a library of scantily clad women on my machine so I can ogle over them at any given time (I've got to wait until the missus isn't looking over my shoulder).

Of course if'n y'all want to send me those special pictures you've got stored away for, um backup purposes, you know in case something happens to your computer, that's just one of the many services I'd be glad to offer. It's not like I'd add them to that non-existent library or anything. Really, I wouldn't, you can trust me, of course you can trust me, honest.