Some things are sacred

'tis a dark, dark day indeed.

Women, especially the woman driving the red Suburban that cut me off earlier today, having driver’s licenses is proof that America is in a downward spiral. Don't get me started on how them, women, being allowed to vote and work is detrimental to our society. Sure the extra pay check is nice, but I've actually had to cook dinner at least twice in the five years I've been married, and that just ain't right.

It started with Lesbians Playing Golf Adequately (the LPGA). In the name of "equal rights" (and to keep men from being nagged to death) golf courses world-wide had to setup ladies' tees and have setup locker rooms for the ladies as well. Don't even get me started on the cute Hawian chick, Michelle Wie (who is far from being legal you pervs), trying to play her way into the PGA, it just ain't right, it just ain't fittin'.

No there's something much more near and dear to this Southerner's heart, fishing and this article pretty much sums up why women like those featured shouldn't be allowed near a boat much less on it, unless they're hot and topless. Hell, I bet they can't even clean the catch, much less bait a hook.

Lengthy fishing trips should start with mimosas.
Mimosas??? What the hell. Everybody knows the preferred adult beverage on fishing trips is beer. Now I'm sure some of you are wondering why beer. Simple, because it can be stored in the same cooler as the bait and you don't waste space carrying all that extra crap on board.

The article only gets worse from there when they throw around phrases like:

...Armani-style fishing...

...the Martha Stewart of fishing, "without the whole prison thing," and aims to revolutionize the sport by catering to women with sophisticated tastes...

...a line of pink fishing nets, lures, hats, boots and other items...

...They became so excited, they even started a fishing cheer -- "F-i, f-i-s-h, f-i-s-h-i-n-g, fishing, fishing!"...

Like a swift kick to the 'nads, it’s almost enough to make a grown man curl up in the fetal position and cry. Don't women understand that some things are sacred and shouldn't be toyed with?

If you need me I'll be hiding from the missus.

Posted by phineas g. at 08:09 PM on June 19, 2006 | TrackBack

Dude, the only time I want to hear anything about fishnets and women is if you're talking about stockings.

That should help fan the flames for you. :)

Posted by: Contagion at June 19, 2006 09:33 PM

... there is something deeply wrong with you, Phin..

Posted by: Eric at June 20, 2006 06:05 PM

HeyZeus Farkin' Caristy.... 'tis a said day, indeed.

Posted by: That 1 Guy at June 20, 2006 10:42 PM