Well damn

This can't be good, can't be good at all.

Well I guess the people calling for a "phased redeployment" and for us to get out of Iraq now are gonna get their wish. Too bad they weren't specific enough.

Road trip

So lets say, hypothetically speaking, that you wake up at 4 O'Clock on a Saturday morning and know that you're not going to be able to go back to sleep. What do you do? I've asked a couple of people and their responses were all pretty similar, saying they'd either lay in bed or get a head start on their "honey-do" list. Me, I decide to register for Carolina FreedomNet 2006 to see several of your favorite bloggers (one of which is my older brother) and hit the road for a three hour drive. It's a good thing the missus is an extremely patient and understanding woman. There aren't many people, I would imagine, that would tolerate being woken up at 4 in the morning to hear that their husband is going on a road trip, much less tell him to "have fun and I'll see you when you get home".

I made it to the hotel called my older, and sometimes wiser brother, who blogs at Confederate Yankee to find out where he was and to let him know that I was in the lobby. After meeting up with him we headed to the conference where I got to speak with Lorie Byrd of Wizbang!, Sister Toldjah and Josh Manchester for a bit before the conference got fired up. During the first break I was able to speak briefly with Mary Katherine Ham, Bruce from Gay Patriot and Scott Elliott of Election Projection.

I know I'm missing a couple of people, and yes I'm a knucklehead for not remembering, but hey I was operating on three hours of sleep so gimmie a break.

I had to bail between the second session and lunch so I missed Scott Johnson's keynote on Rathergate. All in all I had a great time and it was well worth the trip.

I'd provide a recap, but well, Mary Katharine, Kathy of Hang Right Politics and Lorie Byrd have already said everything I'd have said and much more eloquently.

I am amazed that a number of bloggers I've been reading on a daily basis for a good while now are NC residents and somehow I'd missed that bit of information. Hey, I've never claimed to be the most observant person in the world.

Now before you start reading the list of folks that were in attendance, it wasn't just right of center blogs. There was a token hate filled lefty in attendance that felt the need to act a fool. The token conference troll's version of events (that I won't link to) aren't what anybody else I've talked to remembers, but hey what's use of the internet if you can't publish self flattering fiction?

If anybody in attendance wants pics let me know and I'll shoot you the address.

Questions I can't answer

As the day wears on I can't shake questions that keep coming up and I can't answer them. Mainly questioning myself, but I can't help but wonder.

Had I been on Flight 93 would I have charged the cabin with the other passengers?

Had I been in one of the towers or the Pentagon after the planes struck would I have charged into the flames to help those who couldn't find their way out?

I'd like to think I know the answers to those questions. That the answer would be yes, yet I pray I never find out, that the situation never arises.

I've seen this question asked several times today. Do you feel safer now than before the attacks of September 11th, 2001? People are answering yes and no when I can't believe the question is being asked. How, how can anyone feel that safe again? It's not that I'm promoting mass hysteria, but prior to September 11th a majority of us lived in a state of blissful ignorance.

I fall back to conversations with one of my professors from college whose family fled Iran instead of dying at the hands of Radical Muslims. He, and his family, are themselves Muslims. I remember him talking about extremists long before we were attacked and I wonder why nobody, including myself, listened.

I wonder if there can be peace and safety while Islamic states still exist. The consensus seems to be no. With people pointing to the open scars still in New York, the daily bombing in Iraq and Afghanistan and versus from the Quran to prove their point. I can't help but think of friends from college who were Muslims who were and still are just as outraged as I am at the attacks.

I can't help but wonder if any of this could have been prevented. Had Carter erased Iran from the map or had Regan handled the Iran-Contra Affair differently or had the first President Bush dethroned Saddam or had President Clinton sent cruise missiles flying or had the current President Bush launched pre-emptive strikes would anything have turned out differently?

As much as I think about the questions I can't come up with concrete answers. There's always a "but" or a "what if" and nothing seems to suffice.

September 11th

I've written this post and revised it a dozen times in my head. Calling it a tribute doesn't make sense to me. Saying I remember what happened on September 11th, 2001 doesn't do justice to those who lost their lives or shed light to the fact that rarely a day goes by when I don't think about what happened. It's a matter of being (un)able to find the right words when seemingly none will do.

Like many others I remember exactly what I was doing when I learned about an airliner slamming the first tower. I remember the voice of a normally jovial radio announcer cracking as he choked back tears trying to explain what had happened. I remember wondering if my brother and his family had gone into the city that day and praying they hadn't. I remember praying for the safety of best friend who was in New York for business. I remember praying for those trapped in the buildings, the first responders and their families. I remember being thankful for the brave souls on flight 93, yet mourning the loss of their lives. I like many others can't help but remember September 11th, 2001.

I remember how I'd felt safe flying across the country on a regular basis, never worrying about a plane being hijacked, much less being used as a weapon. I remember being able to kiss my wife good bye before I left on a flight knowing that I'd be flying home safely in a couple of days. I remember not being concerned men of Middle Eastern decent were about to board the same flight I was on.

I remember lying to my wife of only three months that night, telling her that everything would be okay. I remember knowing that the world had forever been changed just a few hours earlier.

I remember praying I would wake up in the morning and it had all been a dream.

I remember praying for the first time that someone, whoever they were, would die a slow painful death.

I remember 2,996 lives ended prematurely on bright a September day because the lives of 19 terrorists hadn't been ended prematurely.

I remember hearing that time heals all wounds. I think they're wrong. I'm more enraged today than I was five years ago. I'm more upset today than I was five years ago. I'm assuming I've emotionally peaked, but can't say for certain. I do know for certain that I'll go to my grave loathing the bastards who attacked our America on September 11th, 2001.

Gimmie some credit

'tis that time of year again, where I start reviewing credit reports, financial statements, etc...

If you haven't pulled your credit report in the last year there's something you may want to check out and best of all it's free. You're entitled to a free copy of your credit report from the three major companies, no strings attached or crazy forms to fill out either. To get your reports, simply go to AnnualCreditReport.com. At the rates identity thieves are multiplying you need to pull your credit reports at a bare minimum of once a year.

Just a friendly reminder from your ole pal phin.

A mother's day tribue

Seeing how its mother's day I figured I'd say thanks to my dear mother, who reads this blog on occasion, and let her know that I greatly appreciate everything she's done for me over the years. Most notably choosing not to prematurely ending my time here on earth though the process of a retro-active abortion, even when I truly deserved, and for not selling me off to a band of gypsies even though semi-healthy white babies draw a pretty good price on the black market.

I'd also like to thank the missus, for carrying the phinlet for almost ten months and also not prematurely ending my time here on earth with what the courts would have probably deemed a justifiable homicide. She's truly one of the most amazing women I've ever met and the ordeal that was the phinlet's hatching only solidified this opinion.

Thanks also to the moms out there that offered words of encouragement and praise over the past eleven months. The advice you've given hasn't fallen on deaf ears and is greatly appreciated.

Finally I'd like to personally thank three mothers I've never met and probably never will.

First to the mother of the chicks wearing juicy shorts and bikini tops in the Jeep on Memorial Boulevard yesterday, the world, or at least the older men gawking as they rode by, will forever be grateful to you.

Second to the mother of the chick developing digital pictures at Sam's Club yesterday afternoon. You'll never know the light that your collage aged daughter brought into my life yesterday while she was wearing a mini-skirt and tank top that were made of less material than my t-shirt is. Not to mention the pictures of her drunken friends groping each other and flashing the camera. Warmed my soul she did.

If any of you three young ladies happen to, by chance, stumble upon this blog, please personally thank your mothers for me.

Happy mother's day y'all!

Most important lesson I've ever learned

Now it's no secrit among my friends and family that I was a tad bit of a hellion in high school and the first few years of college. In many situations, well I just wasn't a nice person.

Over the past few days I've met quite a few of people also employed by sooper seekrit Company X. Some of the faces looked familiar, and then I realized that I went to school with some of them. Luckily we ran in different circles and I don't recall ever pissing them off, which I had a knack for back in the day.

This of course got me to thinking one of the many valuable lessons that my dad has taught me over the years. That lesson of course being: Be careful whose toes you step on today, as they may very well be connected to the ass you're kissing tomorrow. Words to live by folks.

Changing Channels

I'm sitting here at work like I've done just about every Thursday for the past ten years except its different, vastly different. It's my last Thursday here.

When the missus and I found out the phinlet was on his way we'd discuss my switching jobs to something less stressful and with less travel. Part of me wanted to stick around, it's not that I hate change, I like change, it's that I wasn't sure how much change I could stand and for the most part I really enjoy my job. Then once he was born it really only took that first look for me to realize that I was going to do anything in my power to be around him as much as possible.

After he was born my first day back in the office was a crusher, being unable to watch as he slept was all it took. I placed a couple of calls to talk about openings and to see if I was a fit for them and they were a fit for me. Turns out one of the openings was and I start at the new job Monday.

I've made calls to the friends I've made over the years, each one of the calls a struggle. Letting them know I'll keep in touch, sending a new e-mail address, all the while knowing that it'll be different, it has to be. The common bond is no longer there.

Sure the jokes will be exchanged, but there won't be the calls just to catch up on business and family. The trips to the bar after conferences to pass the time and trade war stories from the past year won't be an option. The passing on of the latest industry gossip, finished. For the first time in my working career in an industry that I've come to love I'm an outsider.

Funny I never thought leaving would be this hard. Tomorrow morning when I'm filling out paperwork for the new job the guys here will be carrying on. You can't help but form friendships when you've worked with somebody for so long, especially in a small company. I hope and pray that they don't miss me, that they're able to carry on business as usual and that I'm leaving them in better shape than when I walked in the door ten years ago. Only time will tell.

Come Monday I'll be wearing "big boy" clothes to work. No longer will I be able to sport jeans, a t-shirt and flip-flops into the office, granted I don't have to wear a tie, but I do have to keep my shirttail tucked in.

New faces and new places. I'm an outsider again.

There are really on two things I'm certain of.

The first, that I've made the best decision possilbe with the information available. As I looking into my son's eyes as I left my house this morning I knew it was only for a brief time. I knew that I wouldn't, at least in the forseeable future, have to go for a week or two without cuddling up with him on the couch.

The second, that my new employer won't be impressed if I lock the intercom system on the LLama Song when I go to lunch.

Professionalism folks, that's what I'm all about.

Fittingly, Jimmy Buffet's If The Phone Doesn't Ring It's Me is playing on the iPod.

With the changes I'm not sure what's in store for the ole phish bowl. I'm planning on being around, but for the next few months the postings here may be scarce, or they may not, nobody really knows, I sure as hell don't. The posting times will be changing, as I won't be blogging from work.

I'm closing this rather random collection of thoughts by thanking y'all for providing a distraction when life has seemed all to real, whether you knew it or not.

Catch y'all on the flip side.

Merry Christmas My friend

As we take time this weekend to spend time with family and friends please take a moment to remember and say a prayer for the men and women in our armed services who have made it possible for us to celebrate Christmas without fear of prosecution.

Merry Christmas My friend was penned by James M. Schmidt, a Lance Corporal stationed in Washington, D.C., when he wrote the poem back in 1986. It was First published in "Leatherneck Magazine", December 1991.

Twas the night before Christmas; he lived all alone
In a one bedroom house made of plaster & stone
I had come down the chimney, with presents to give
And to see just who in this home did live.

As I looked all about, a strange sight I did see
No tinsel, no presents, not even a tree
No stocking by the fire, just boots filled with sand
On the wall hung pictures of a far distant land.

With medals and badges, awards of all kind
A sobering thought soon came to my mind
For this house was different, unlike any I'd seen
This was the home of a U.S. Marine.

I'd heard stories about them, I had to see more
So I walked down the hall and pushed open the door
And there he lay sleeping, silent, alone
Curled up on the floor in his one-bedroom home.

He seemed so gentle, his face so serene
Not how I pictured a U.S. Marine
Was this the hero, of whom I’d just read
Curled up in his poncho, a floor for his bed?

His head was clean-shaven, his weathered face tan
I soon understood, this was more than a man
For I realized the families that I saw that night
Owed their lives to these men, who were willing to fight.

Soon around the Nation, the children would play
And grown-ups would celebrate on a bright Christmas day
They all enjoyed freedom, each month and all year
Because of Marines like this one lying here.

I couldn’t help wonder how many lay alone
On a cold Christmas Eve, in a land far from home
Just the very thought brought a tear to my eye
I dropped to my knees and I started to cry.

He must have awoken, for I heard a rough voice
"Santa, don't cry, this life is my choice
I fight for freedom, I don't ask for more
My life is my God, my country, my Corps."

With that he rolled over, drifted off into sleep
I couldn't control it, I continued to weep
I watched him for hours, so silent and still
I noticed he shivered from the cold night's chill.

So I took off my jacket, the one made of red
And covered this Marine from his toes to his head
Then I put on his T-shirt of scarlet and gold
With an eagle, globe and anchor emblazoned so bold.

And although it barely fit me, I began to swell with pride
And for one shining moment, I was Marine Corps deep inside
I didn't want to leave him so quiet in the night
This guardian of honor so willing to fight.

But half asleep he rolled over, and in a voice clean and pure
Said "Carry on, Santa, it's Christmas Day, all secure."
One look at my watch and I knew he was right
Merry Christmas my friend, Semper Fi and goodnight.

Giving Thanks

This Thanksgiving Day I'm taking the time to remind myself of the many things I'm thankful for. Below is a partial list. I'm sure there's something I've forgotten so I'll probably update it throughout the day.

My parents, who have taught me and continue to teach by example the values I hope to bestow upon my chiddrens.

Two brothers that I'd charge hell with a bucket of ice water for, knowing they'd do the same for me.

A wife who in spite of my numerous flaws, sarcastic tone and smart assed mouth loves me anyhoo, well at least she claims she does.

The miracles of nature and watching my wife expand at an exponential rate. Hey give'er a break she's "with child" and she's still as good looking as ever.

A set of friends that I'm able to count on when the chips are down. Including the friends I've made this year via Al Gore's Interweb and that fad the call "Web Logs".

The men and women of our military who keep and have kept our country free; thereby allowing me to exercise my chronic case of foot in mouth disease without fear of hot pokers and other less than pleasant experiences.

As much as I whine and bitch about it my day job. There aren't many places that'll let me get away with the stunts I've pulled. And whilst I'm discussing that infamous four letter word, work, Apothegm Designs wouldn't be possible with out the bestest biddness partner ever: Madam Sadie.

The talents and knowledge that God's given to me, as I sure don't know where a great deal of either of them have come from this past year. I ran out of talent about three months ago and my brian has been mush even longer, I'm just hoping nobody's noticed yet.

And lastly but not least I'm grateful for the World Wide Interweb and it's many fine discoveries.

Somebody's to blame

The media has chosen to focus on the poor down trodden souls who've lost everything, urging them along and pushing the belief that it's because the government didn't intervene. Acidman posted an article written by Robert Tracinski of The Intellectual Activist, where Tracinski explains the problem in New Orleans was created by the welfare state. Thousands of people were and are dependant upon the government to not only to provide for them, but evidently to think and provide morals as well.

As the various branches of the government were dead locked in a circle jerk trying to figure out how they could dodge culpability, garner votes for the next election and blame the opposing party some of the residents had chosen to forget the thousands of years of advances the human race and resort to barbaric actions never before seen in America. Other residents have risen out of the proverbial ashes as heroes and tried to restore peace and order to their beloved home.

Granted I can't speak with firsthand knowledge regarding the situation in New Orleans. I've been there and still can't fathom seeing a majority of it soaking in a toxic soup. The chaos that must have erupted when those who choose to ride out Hurricane Katrina, realized they'd made the wrong choice is incomprehensible to me.

The biggest problem I've seen is a one that has repeated itself over and over throughout history. It's the vacuum created anytime authority is suddenly removed and people are unsure what is going to happen next. After the fall of the Taliban in Afghanistan several gangs and warlords battled to determine who would be in control until the government stepped in.

The same thing happened in New Orleans. The people who chose to stay behind were faced with an absence of power as Ray Nagin and Kathleen Blanco floundered indecisively while the Federal Governments hands were tied. Their inability to lead and follow through on previously documented procedures may very well have been the death blow for thousands New Orleans residents.

The absence of power isn't overly surprising when we learn through the Rieghl World View that the New Orleans Levee Board is under federal investigation for corruption. I imagine that in the near future we'll see just how inept and corrupt the Governor's and Mayor's offices really are.

Compassionate souls

After the bidding had closed on the two designs Sadie and I auctioned off Thursday and Friday we announced the highest bids. A comment was left by a kindly gentleman named Seth saying he wished he had seen the auction sooner. Seth mentioned in the comment that he would have gone at least double or even higher during the auction had he only known about it sooner.

After reading the comment Sadie and I discussed how to proceed, I was admittedly shocked and in state of bewilderment. Unsure how to proceed we decided to offer Seth a redesign, with Pixy Misa's blessing a new home as a part of the MuNuvian family and to let him decide the amount he wanted to donate. Upon receiving our offer Seth replied that he would match the winning bid, tenfold.

As the media focuses on the tragedy that is still unfolding before our very eyes there is hope. The compassionate souls giving from their heart have ensured the people whose worlds have been destroyed have a chance to rebuild, there's once again hope.

It is definitely an honor for Sadie and me to be able to give something back to three of the people who have given so much of themselves. Thanks again to Nugget, Seth and That 1 Guy for providing comfort to those in need.

Apothegm Designs would like to thank everyone who has done whatever they could to ease the pain for those who have been affected by Hurricane Katrina. Those who took the time to bid or promote auction have our utmost gratitude and respect.

The results are in!!

When Sadie and I were bouncing aroud the idea of auctioning off a couple of blog designs I never imagined it would bring about the amount of interest and raise the amount of money that it has.

Nugget snuck in just under the wire at 11:59. That 1 Guy was the first to bid September 1st and stepped up just in time with his final bid at 11:56. These are the two gentlemen who submited the winning bids.

I am in awe and humbled by the display of generosity displayed during this event, throughout the blogosphere and worldwide the past couple of days.

Thanks again to everyone who helped to make this effort a success.

A helping hand

This post will remain on top until the bidding closes Friday night.

On Monday Hugh Hewitt suggested the blogging community band together to raise funds and awareness for the charities helping provide relief to the areas affected by Hurricane Katrina. Glenn Reynolds suggested the date of Thursday, September 1st and offered to provide links. The Truth Laid Bear has setup a tracking page to help keep count.

In trying to do our part we, your friendly Apothegm Designers, are auctioning off a custom blog design (within reason) to the highest bidder. Samples of our work can be seen at the Apothegm Designs Website.

The bidding starts at a bargain of $150 and the funds will be donated to The American Red Cross, or the winning bidder's charity of choice.

Bidding is open in the comments of this post until Midnight (11:59:59) September 2nd.

Update: After exchanging several emails, we have decided to up the offering and auction a SECOND custom design. So unless there are any objections, we shall accept the two highest bidders.

Update #2: Pixy Misa, the benevolent leader of MuNuviana, has offered to throw in free hosting* and a mu.nu domain for the winners if they're interested. So not only do you get a custom designed blog, you get free hosting and you get to join the Mu.Nu family of blogs, really what more could you ask for?

Update #3: Sadie, the brains and the looks of Apothegm Designs, suggested that we include a bit of ongoing maintenance with the package. So should you hose up your design trying to add links or if you have a question about something, the answer is just an e-mail away!

Update #4: We have Winners!!!
Nugget snuck in just under the wire at 11:59 and That 1 Guy stepped in at 11:56. A million thanks to everyone who bid, it's greatly appreciated and we're humbled by your generosity. We'll be in contact shortly to start ironing out the details and getting the design process rolling.

Others pitching in

Michele of Letters from NYC is auctioning / selling several items and services for the relief effort.

Laughing Wolf also has several items up for grabs.

Wizbang is auctioning off a post.

Frank J. says what lots of people are thinking.

Biding our time

As the residents of southern Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama prepare for the worst and hope for the best the rest of the nation can only sit back and watch as a nightmare unfolds before our eyes. Being a coastal resident (within 60 miles of the ocean) I've been through hurricanes and heard horror stories that go along with them all my life.

Since my father's family grew up in Wilmington, NC the big storm I'd always heard tale of growing up was Hazel. Hazel struck in October of 1954 (thirty some years before I was even a dirty though) and destroyed 15,000 homes and wiped Topsail Island clean. Had she been a category five (or a catastrophic class) hurricane, as Katrina is, when she came ashore Topsail Island may have been erased from the map.

Those tales were pushed aside when Hurricane Floyd wreaked its havoc on the eastern seaboard. The initial winds and driving rains however weren’t nearly as damaging as the flood waters that would follow in the days after Floyd cleared out. Farms were decimated; sewer and septic systems became one with the rivers and streams; caskets buried for decades floated freely downstream only to be pushed aside by the moving islands formed by hundreds of drowned livestock. As bad as the storm and its aftermath were it could have been worse.

How much worse, the only thing I can think of is the scenario unfolding right now. People have often worried about the worse case scenario should a Category Five Hurricane come ashore in New Orleans. Kelley of Suburban Blight found an article that discusses the worst case scenario. The Times-Picayune has a feature on their site titled Washing Away; in both articles scientist project the loss of life to be in the tens of thousands and possibly higher.

All we can do is sit and pray and wait and watch as tragedy is unleashed by the power Mother Nature. For those who skipped The Times-Picayune article mentioned above, Joseph Suhayda of Louisiana State University is quoted as saying that "a catastrophic hurricane represents 10 or 15 atomic bombs in terms of the energy it releases". Ole Mother Nature can be a one mean and nasty bitch when she wants to be, and it looks like she wants to be this go round.

As bad as they're forecasting the storm it's the aftereffects of the storm that truly scare the hell out of me. Should the levees give way as they're forecasting we're going to see a twenty-plus foot deep punchbowl of raw sewage, chemicals and death that is indescribable.

In the weeks following the floods resurgences of plagues we've forgotten as aid workers and residents are attacked by mosquitoes large enough to rape a turkey. The remaining portions grand architecture that was once a proud portion of New Orleans history will have to be ripped out to ensure it is no longer a breeding ground for mold and disease.

Our thoughts and prayers are with those in Katrina's path; hopefully they’ll dodge another bullet. Hopefully the nightmare scenario so many people have worried about won’t come true; but right now all we can do is bide our time as we watch a real life horror story unfold.

A solution somewhat

Thanks for the e-mails, comments and suggestions last night as I was wallowing in self pity last night regarding the analysis I'd done for work.

While going through the workflow model over a couple of adult beverages last night I spotted a couple of areas in need of more hours of productivity. I headed back to the hotel and worked up several scenarios, models and hacked out an analysis involving two shifts in certain areas versus one shift with overtime and weekends as necessary.

After mapping out the workflow with a second shift, keeping the same employees the bottle necks were removed and the modeled average turn around time reduced from seven to three days and overtime production costs should be dramatically reduced (keeping in mind we’re dealing with averages and theories here).

I reviewed both reports with the owners today who both seemed to like the second shift model since it allows for additional growth while keeping the employees around. The one thing I'd originally be concerned with was the disruption of their lives as some of them are forced to move to second shift hours. Then I realized that working a second shift hours are a whole lot better than not working at all.

Various roles we play

There are times I truly enjoy my job, when I wouldn't trade it for anything else. Other times I loathe my career choice and one of the many roles I fulfill. Today is the later.

The role I despise, being an efficiency expert. In this role I analyze a company's assets (human and capitol), work flow and management information system utilization. Once I'm finished with my analysis, I prepare a report with alternatives on how to reduce expenditures while increasing productivity and asset utilization. In other words, I'm a chainsaw consultant.

I roll in and make nasty decisions management doesn't have the spine to make. In most cases there are several degrees of separation, this go round that isn't the case. I've worked with this company for the past six years. This week was the first time I'd been asked to wield the chainsaw.

When I hand over my report tomorrow three or four people will be moved from office to production capacities, positions made obsolete due to training and utilization of newly implemented software. Another five to eight people will be thinking of me when they're filling out unemployment paperwork next week. All people I've shared at least one or two meals with.

I've never been fully comfortable with this facet of my job and probably never will be. If you're looking for me later this evening I'll be at the bar answering to el bastardo.