If I Could Be... meme

The Thong Pirate tagged moehawk, who in turn tagged me with the "If I Could Be..." meme that Ogre started.

If I could be a llama-rider I would sing the Llama song as I rode circles around the Llama Butchers' houses taunting them (Yay Arsenic Hour).

If I could be a psychologist I would prescribe electroshock therapy to all the hippies I encountered.

If I could be an architect I would design Chesticle Shaped buildings. Aren't there already enough Phallic shaped office buildings?

If I could be a bonnie pirate I would seek safe haven at the Pirate's Cove then go out drinking and wenching.

If I could be a professor I would profess my unending love for Midget Strippers and Hula Dancers; but I'm not so I won't.

So here's how it works. Following there is a list of different occupations. You must select at least 5 of them (feel free to select more). You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select 5 of the items as it was passed to you). Each one begins with "If I could be..." Of the 5 you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession.

For example, if the selected occupation was "pirate" you might take the phrase "If I could be a pirate..." and add to it "I would sail the 7 Seas, dating lasses from around the worlde." See how easy that is?

Here's the list:
If I could be a scientist...

Now to choose the next victims participants....
Sadie (although I'm sure I'll pay dearly for it), Zonker and The Wizard.

If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician...
If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter...
If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary...
If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect...
If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist...
If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete...
If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper...
If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer...
If I could be a llama-rider...
If I could be a bonnie pirate...
If I could be a midget stripper...