Don't tell me no lies....

It's Tuesday, which means it's time for another round of who's line is it anyway episode of the Men's Club and Demystifying Divas. This week's topic: Once a flame of a friend becomes available, is that person "forever" unavailable to other friend.

I've never had a problem with a friend of mine dating a girl I had gone out with. Not that it's happened very often as most my friends all realized that I until I met my wife I had a knack for picking out crazy. Not just run of the slightly off balance, I'm talking medicated crazy. So needless to say once I'd figured out they were crazy my buddies had figured it out too. As a wise man once said, "All women are crazy, it's just a matter of degree", who he is remains a mystery as the women in his life have hidden his body and erased all semblance of his existence.

There are times it's unacceptable however to ask for permission. If they've just been through a nasty break up there really isn't a need to pour salt into the wound by asking their permission to date.

Yes you have to ask permission, it's just common courtesy. There is a direct correlation between how long they've dated, how long you've been friends and how long you have to wait before you can got out with them. If the relationship was serious (marriage, engaged, long term) only a super putz would ask permission to hook up with a friend's ex. One of the main reasons you've got to ask permission, is you run this risk of getting your feelings hurt as well as permanently damaging a friendship.

As I previously mentioned I dated a girl that was kinda crazy (if you missed it and don't feel like reading it she was really to get married after two months and I wasn't). When we parted ways it was a less than amicable breakup. She bumped into a drinking buddy of mine a couple of weeks later and they started dating. Then one night while out at one of the local watering holes they showed up. He was embarrassed, I didn't give a damn, she came over and tried to make me jealous. Her bit didn't work, she got mad, started crying and he just assumed I'd called her a nasty skank or worthless hussy or psycho bitch and jumped to her defense.

Now I'm a fairly passive guy, I was raised not to start a fight and I can count the number of physical altercations (other than scuffles with my brothers) I've been in on one hand . But I was also raised not to back down from one either. He kept pushing the issue thinking I was pissed, when I explained to him that I really didn't give a damn, that they were both worthless as tits on a bull and made for each other he got mad and took a swing at me. The one thing I regret is I never got a punch in, my buddies were on him before I had a chance to react and he received a good ole southern ass whipping. Which is the proper punishment for breaking Rule #10 of the Official Guy Code: Before dating a buddy's ex, you are required to ask his permission and he, in return, is required to grant it. Shortly after that little incident she broke things off with him we talking things out over a couple of beers and went our separate ways.

The problem was the trust was broken. Which is why you need to speak to your friends prior to boinking their ex. Had he let me know I'd have happily said go for it and the whole little incident would have been avoided. As most adults know relationships are built on trust. If you're doing something you have to keep secret from you friends, especially a close friend, then you ought not be doing it to start with.

I'll leave the gentlemen readers with one final bit of advice:
Always remember in South Carolina and West Virginia Rule #5 of the Official Guys Code of Conduct also applies: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever, even if your buddy did break up with her, it's still unacceptable to ask his permission to date her. Plus if she isn't good enough for her own family she isn't good enough for you.

For more enlightened views:
The Wizard found out his best friend broke the guy code.
Stigmata aka Puffy is offering monkeys for anyone brave enough to date his exs.
Smallholder of the Naked Villains is polishing his report.

Kathy has some not so fond memories of goombahs.
sadie says to kick the garbage to the curb.
Silk says don't even go there.
Chrissy says that women very merrily married.