Things I'd do
If you take Congressperson Hinchey threatening to ruin Sean Hannity and add it to Teddy Kennedy's driving experiences, with the Clinton's list of Crimes and people that mysteriously died, you come to the conclusion that being elected to an Elected Federal Government Position and being a Democrat entitles one to do anything you damn well please. So here's the list of things I'd do if I were a Democrat and elected a Federal Office.
* Bitch Slap (To open handedly slap someone. Denote disrespect for the person being bitch slapped as they are not worthy of a man sized punch.) Ted Rall. Really how can someone be so bitter without being publicly bitch slapped? I'm thinking a pay per view event to raise money for a new Right Wing Propaganda News Channel.
* Pimp slap (back of the hand. not the palm.) Hillary Clinton. Being raised with a traditional southern upbringing I've always respected women, even if they didn't deserve it, thus I've never hit a woman; hell I've never raised my voice at a woman in anger. Thus it would be nice to have reduced moral values of a Democratic Office, which would provide me with the ability to pimp slap senator Clinton.
* Have legislation passed that makes hippy beating the national past time.
* Create "Conservitivisation" Camps for hippy's and liberals. At these camps they would be taught the values of normal people (i.e.: Conservatives).
* Teabag any other democrats who didn't like my policies of Hippy Beating and Conservitivisation Camps. You don't like my policies, well how do you like my whozits on your forehead? Quick a photo-op.
* I'd keep Howard Dean in charge of the DNC, really could conservative bloggers ask or anybody else?
* Line the offices of the Democratic Senators and Congress people so they could no longer receive their orders from the mother ship.
* Punch Barbra Boxer in the mouth; just because I've never hit a lady doesn't keep me from punching a bitch.
Find some sneaky way to bring down the democratic party's validity, like declaring that Karl Rove was behind the Dan Rather and Eason Jordan scandals. Oh wait, they're already doing that with RatherGate and it's just a matter of time before they start up with Eason.
