In Remembrance

I returned from a family trip to the beach and a pseudo hiatus from all things internet related a few days earlier than I'd hoped or planned. I received a call from my Dad earlier that one of my Aunts, his brother's wife, had passed away after battling with cancer for several years.

It hadn't really hit me that she was gone until I walked into the house a few hours ago. In the hurried state of planning to get home, spending a bit of time with our son, saying good-byes to the wife's family and driving back I'd managed to keep myself distracted. But now, there aren't any distractions, I'm sitting here trying figure out how to say good-bye to a woman I've known practically all my life.

To say Aunt C. could be difficult at times would be an understatement, but to me, that was part of her charm. You always knew where you stood good, bad or indifferent; if it was on her mind she said it. To some and even me at times, it wasn't the most desirable of traits. Looking back I can't help but respect her for it. Her opinions and beliefs were steadfast in a time when many people's convictions seem to falter and sway on a regular basis.

One of my first, and most fond, memories of the time we spent together was at a family reunion in Wilmington. Sitting outside of a small church where she fawned over how cute my brothers and I were. (Good looks and humility are just a couple of the crosses the men in our family are forced to bear.) As I passed by Wilmington on my way home today I could almost smell the fried chicken, collars and home-made biscuits that were a staple of the reunions, yet it didn't strike me until I got home that she'd never again be there with us.

I remember her talking to the missus a few short months ago before our son was born about how exciting and life altering parenthood is. I'll never get the chance to tell her just how right she was, but I'm certain she already knew it.

Aunt C. and the missus clicked. Like two peas in a pod they'd talk and cackle portions of it undoubtedly at my expense when they were together. I'd normally escape unscathed, but in parting she'd always remind me to take care of her girl and I'd always promise I would.

One of my greatest missteps was not finding the time to stop by to visit with her after our son had been born. I can't help but regret not taking the time to stop by with the missus and our son to spend a couple of hours with her. Selfishly I'd taken for granted that she'd be there when our schedules slowed down to a semi-normal pace and we could take a day to run up and visit. It’s something I'll always regret.

I picked up a card to send to my Uncle, before I drop it in the mail I wanted to put its words somewhere I can remember.

A Better Place
There's a place
I've never seen
beyond this world we know,

A place I've only heard of
but someday hope to go

It's not on any map,
there are not roads
to take me there.

But it's a place of perfect peace
where hearts are free from care

And though I understand
some may be saddened
when I leave,

One day, we all will meet again,
that's what I believe.

When it's time to travel there,
I think I'll wear a smile.

I'll say good-bye to those I love,
but only for a while,

Knowing there are others
who have traveled there alone,

Who cannot wait to greet me
and whisper "welcome home".

Headstrong and stubborn until the end we shared quite a few ways. I'll always look back fondly on the all too short time we were able to spend together and I'll take a bit of solace out knowing that at least now she's in a better place.

Good-bye Aunt C., you'll be missed and until we meet again I promise I'll take care of your girl.