The phinlet's womanizing ways

From what I understand the normal progression in regards to the mobility of children is being carried, crawling, walking and then running, at least that's what the books say. Well they're wrong, at least when it comes to the phinlet. Of course it could be evolution at work, self preservation, survival of the fittest and all that jazz.

See, I'm not sure where the phinlet managed to pick up his bad habits. I'm certainly not to blame, that's the only certainty here, personally I think it's his mothers fault, just don't tell her I said so.

Anyhow, at 18 months old he's becoming quite the player on playground (or anywhere else for that matter). He'll ditch pretty much whoever he's with in an attempt to get teh ladies to faun over him. If there's a chance at an upgrade, he'll damn near martyr himself to get to the hottest woman in the room and almost inevitably he does.

You wants an example? I'll give you an example. A while back we were at the grocery. I was only picking up a couple of items, so we don't grab cart, plus the phinlet's happier walking and holding onto my hand. Anyhoo, we make it through the store without incident, but the checkout line, well that's another story.

We're waiting behind an attractive college aged girl, who most likely would be asked to leave if she were to try and board a Southwest flight, when he decides to get his mac on. He starts off innocently enough, playing shy, hiding behind me and waving at her.

She notices, smiles and waves back. Its game on. She's being played like a fiddle and doesn't even know it. He steps from behind me and starts talking and waving. "Hey" is the only thing I could make out, I'm not really sure what the rest of it was and that might be a good thing (I'd either be extremely proud or washing his mouth out with soap).

The young lady pays and thinks she's going to leave with a simple wave and "bye". But he's having none of it. She waves, says bye, and he does the unimaginable. He starts walking towards her (I'm keeping a close eye on him), executes the raise your arms to be picked up maneuver, flawlessly I might add, and says "bye". She melts and so does the girl in line behind us, who I hadn't noticed until I heard "aww, he's so cute". She kneels down, gives him a hug (who am I too object?) and talks to him while I'm being rung up and paying.

He's chatting away happily, playing with her necklace (and trying to pull her top back, I've taught him well). Then its time to leave. He gives her a hug, she hands him to me and we start on our way out. That's when the girl who was behind us says bye and waves to him. He, unprompted by me, starts blowing her kisses, at which point she starts grinning ear to ear.

Honestly I get a little bit unnerved thinking about it, 'specially when you figure Darwin might have set him up to start sprinting at an early age for the practive. It can only mean he'll be outrunning pissed off fathers at an early age. So, I'll take the chance now, while I have it, and apologize to parents with daughters age five and under, really, its his mother's fault.

I can't say for certain, but I'm pretty sure the girl in the grocery store gave him her phone number.


At least she's the only one I think of that he'd be chatting with on the phone late at night.

What age are you supposed to start talking with your kids about the proper etiquette of a "booty call"?

Posted by phineas g. at 04:00 PM on September 13, 2007

"What age are you supposed to start talking with your kids about the proper etiquette of a "booty call"?"

Well, Phin, how old are you today? Cause that sounds as if it would be about the right age.

Great story.

Posted by: rp at September 14, 2007 01:40 PM

What a cutie!

Posted by: GroovyVic at September 15, 2007 08:37 AM

Ok, I'm neither hot nor young and *I* melted just reading that. The picture? Holy Crap is he adorable......

Posted by: Tammi at September 15, 2007 08:31 PM

You can tell from the the photo he is a "Playa" not just any ole "player."

Posted by: The Maximum Leader at September 17, 2007 08:43 AM

He is TOO cute!

Posted by: sarahk at September 17, 2007 09:24 AM

Oh my goodness! He is adorable, and hey, you are never too young to get your mac on . . .

Posted by: oddybobo at September 17, 2007 02:10 PM

"Booty call etiquette" as I understand will be in the next edition of Miss Manners (that ho's down with the clown and got it all tight! A'rite!).

What a cutie pie! Yep, just keep apologizing until he starts kindergarten for all the girls, cause that's when his mac will go into hyper mode and it's Game On Baby!

(Sorry, I think I experienced a fuge when I first typed this. I need to find my '40' and rest. Audi 3000 or whatever the heck they're saying now. I need to find my "Best of Lawrence Welk" CD and take a nap.)

Posted by: Lee Ann at September 17, 2007 03:08 PM