Its better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick...

...but just barely.

Why is it, that the inevitable landing place for a toddler's wildly flailing appendage, be it a foot or hand, is their father's 'nads?

America's Funniest Home Videos built a fortune of of guys getting popped in the twins by their kids. Sure we're laughing, covering our own jewels and kind of wincing in pain, but laughing none the less. I guess its the laws of probability or something that delivering the swift blows of what the missus refers to as "justice".

Its getting bad enough around the phish bowl that I'm trying to find where to purchase a titanium athletic supporter, else, I can't ensure the phinlet won't be an only child. Now, I know some of you are thinking that I've brought this upon myself, wrestling and just generally running rampant with the 'tot. In most cases you'd probably be correct, so I guess I can't bitch about them but so much.

However, its the damned sneak attacks that not only sting the worse, but also seem to bring the most delight to the phinlet and missus. Take last night for instance. We're sitting around, unwinding and getting ready to put the phinlet to bed. He's sitting in my lap, watch Bear in the Big Blue House and eating grapes.

Next thing I know, he's ready to get down, so without any warning whatsoever, he does this full body spasm thing that propels him out of my lap and onto the floor (standing I might add). Which would be kind of cool, had the twins not been the springboard for one of his heels. Needless to say, I wincing, then grunted, then just sat their waiting for the world to come to an end.

The wife, giggling uncontrollably, asks if I'm OK. The phinlet, initially concerned, see's his darling mother laughing like a lunatic and joins in. If'n this were a one off occasion, I'd probably be laughing too, but its every week. Now I learn from my mistakes, so the same method of attack only happens once.

Which means eventually they'll subside, maybe? I mean, there's only so many different ways a toddler can inadvertently pop a guy in the 'nads right?

Until then, I'm headed to the local sporting good store and buying a cup.

Posted by phineas g. at 12:25 PM on September 18, 2007

I can't tell you how many times my poor husband has taken a shot to the boys by our two girls. My hunch is that the girls just don't think about Daddy's plumbing being a little *different* when they launch into his arms or plop in his lap.

Posted by: Kate at September 18, 2007 12:58 PM

Nah, it's just a way for them to get you back prematurely for all the embarassing things you will do to them once they reach school.

Posted by: Quality Weenie at September 21, 2007 03:06 PM