Snooze Button Questionaire

Paul! from Snooze Button Dreams has created a meme / questionnaire for the general public of the blogidohexiweb. I haven't done a meme in an while and since I've got nothing, the well runith dry, and the questions amuse me so here ya go.

1. You're futzing around with your iPod and slam your car into some other poor bastard’s in the parking lot of the liquor store. No one sees you and the owner of the other car is nowhere in sight. What do you do?
Leave a note with the contact information with the information of a co-worker that's pissed me off and run like hell to the nearest body shop.

2. You’re a guest in someone’s home for a dinner party. You excuse yourself to the restroom during dinner and have an episode of explosive diarrhea. Before you leave the bathroom you:
Walk out rubbing my belly and announce that my latest masterpiece is now available for viewing.

3. You’re sitting at a traffic light thinking about your sad, mundane life. You witness a minor traffic accident where no one is injured but plenty of damage is sustained to both vehicles. You clearly saw who was at fault. When the light turns green, you:
Drive off, while pointing and laughing at the poor sap who's gonna get one helluva increase on his next insurance bill.

4. You and several friends stop to pick up another friend on the way to a party. Your friend comes out wearing something that makes them look ridiculous, like a transvestite or you can clearly see a naughty bit sticking out somewhere. Do you:
Keep my yap shut until we reach the party, arrange for several photos to document the historic event, tell everybody at the party, then point it out on the way home.

5. You’re sitting in the conference room awaiting the start of a meeting. Six people are in attendance. Just as the handouts are coming around you hear audible flatulence, loud enough to be heard by everyone and certainly unmistakable. Do you:
Ask the boss what the hell they ate and offer to book them an appointment with a mortician or gastroenterologist.

6. You are on your way to the store. Your wife/husband/other asks you to get them something. Due to your own inability to either listen or think about anyone but yourself, you forget. When you come home, you:
Deny, deny, deny. Tell them you not only searched that store, but stopped at two others that were out of the way, which is why it took so long to get home (when I'd actually stopped at the bar for a pint or two).

6.5 When they ask you, "Did you ask someone who works there?" You:
Say "Damned skippy", the next shipment comes in tomorrow, I'll pick it up on the way home.

The only person I'm personally tagging is The Straight White Guy, mainly so he'll pass it along to his rabid fans that love memes. To the others, if you're reading and you're interested, consider yourself tagged.

That's pretty much me

Via the Madam Ruth and Mistress Sadie:

Yep, that's me.
You may refer to me from here after as El Capitan.

basil shares the longest meme ever...

Kim of Ramblestrip tagged basil with an unusually large meme yesterday. basil being the kind and generous guy that he is tagged me. Since I'm always interested in learning more about the my favorite topic, me, I decided to participate.

Overview: This post is a community experiment with two broad purposes. The first is to create publicly accessible data about bloggers' personalities, which may have sociological value in addition to being just plain fun. The second is to track the propagation of this meme through blogspace. Full details and explanation can be found on the original posting: A Meme Worth Spreading.

The results are rather long, thus they're in the extended entry.

Instructions (to join in the experiment):

1. Take the IPIP-NEO personality test and the Political Compass quiz, if you have not done so already.
2. Copy to the clipboard that section of this post that is between the double lines, and paste it into your blog editor. (Blogger users may wish to use 'compose' mode to preserve formatting and hyperlinks. Otherwise, be sure to add hyperlinks as necessary.)
3. Replace the answers in the "survey" section below with your own.
4. Add your blog information to the "track list", in the form: "Linked title - URL - optional GUID". ("GUID" stands for global unique identifier - it should be a short string that currently yields no results in a Google search.)
5. Any additional comments should go outside of the double lines, including the (optional) nomination of bloggers you wish to pass this experimental meme on to.
6. Post it to your blog!

Age: 30
Gender: Male
Location: Eastern North Carolina, USA
Religion: Yes
Occupation: Project Manager / Systems Analyst
Began blogging (mm/dd/yyyy): 01/03/2005

Political Compass Results
Economic Left/Right: 2.00
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: 2.15

IPIP-NEO results
Extraversion
EXTRAVERSION...............70
..Friendliness.............65
..Gregariousness...........38
..Assertiveness............88
..Activity Level...........80
..Excitement-Seeking.......56
..Cheerfulness.............57
Your score on Extraversion is high, indicating you are sociable, outgoing, energetic, and lively. You prefer to be around people much of the time.

Agreeableness
AGREEABLENESS..............23
..Trust....................24
..Morality.................50
..Altruism.................22
..Cooperation..............80
..Modesty..................5
..Sympathy.................21

Your score on Agreeableness is low, indicating less concern with others' needs Than with your own. People see you as tough, critical, and uncompromising.

Conscientiousness
CONSCIENTIOUSNESS..........86
..Self-Efficacy............90
..Orderliness..............66
..Dutifulness..............88
..Achievement-Striving.....66
..Self-Discipline..........92
..Cautiousness.............64

Your score on Conscientiousness is high. This means you set clear goals and pursue them with determination. People regard you as reliable and hard-working.

Neuroticism
NEUROTICISM................52
..Anxiety..................55
..Anger....................60
..Depression...............46
..Self-Consciousness.......67
..Immoderation.............38
..Vulnerability............38

Your score on Neuroticism is average, indicating that your level of emotional reactivity is typical of the general population. Stressful and frustrating situations are somewhat upsetting to you, but you are generally able to get over these feelings and cope with these situations.

Openness to Experience
OPENNESS TO EXPERIENCE.....40
..Imagination..............39
..Artistic Interests.......92
..Emotionality.............6
..Adventurousness..........28
..Intellect................79
..Liberalism...............17
Your score on Openness to Experience is average, indicating you enjoy tradition but are willing to try new things. Your thinking is neither simple nor complex. To others you appear to be a well-educated person but not an intellectual.

Me-me-me-me.............

I promised Miss Silk that I'd work on a meme a while back, then I got distracted (hard to believe I know) and almost forgot about it. Then Sir Dash tagged me with another meme, that I've been meaning to get around to doing, and well I kept getting distracted from completing it also.

Five Things I miss from Childhood (From Miss Silk)
1. Antagonizing my brothers on a daily basis. I'm sure most of you will find this hard to believe, but I was a tad bit of trouble maker in my younger days and got great joy out of tormenting my older and younger brothers.

2. Pellet Gun fights. For all of you screaming "You'll shoot your eye out kid", that's what Goggles are for. But alas when I went enrolled in college my safety goggles morphed into beer goggles and got be into quite a bit of trouble.

3. Saturday morning cartoons. I've tried watching the crap they have on network T.V. and I feel sorry for kids today. With all the touchy feely everybody wins crap that they're being fed it's no wonder they can't cope with a bad grade or loosing in sports.

4. Free Room and Board. When I was younger I couldn't wait to get out of my parents house. Now that I'm out and having to pay the bills I want back in. Oh how I long for the days of sitting on my arse and playing Nofriendo for hours on end. My parents always did a damn good job of keeping the Fridge and Pantry stocked with what I was looking to snack on, I don't do nearly as well as they did.

5. Most of all I miss innocence. I used to think that humans were inherently good, now not so much. I'd love to go back to the days when I wasn't wondering if the plane I was on was going to go down. I don't want to be concerned with how much life insurance I need to ensure the Wife would be taken care of if something happened to me on a business trip. I want to go back to the days when metal detectors weren't requirements in schools. When a fight was over when you shook hands and you didn't have to worry about somebody pulling out a pistol or knife. Man how I feel sorry for today's youth.

"Five things society at large enjoys, but that I just don't get..." (From Sir Dash)
1. Ill mannered children. Judging by the number of children roaming everywhere I've traveled as of late people in general must thoroughly enjoy watching their kids misbehave.

2. Putting up with bitter shrews. With the number of middle aged women bitching at anyone and everyone that will listen a majority of society must enjoy these people. Eventually some woman's husband will more than likely whip my ass because I'm not willing to tolerate somebody being a hateful bitch. A prime example: Several months back I was at Lowes and there was a battle ax standing in line berating the young girl working the register. I'm not 100% sure what the woman's problem was, all I know is her incessant yapping was getting louder and the checkout girl was about to erupt in tears. As I stood there in line I'd heard all I could handle and interrupted the woman to ask her "Who'd lit the fuse on her tampon?". She was none too appreciative and started to set in on me, that's when I explained to her that'd I would never hit a lady; but I don't have any problems punching a bitch. For some reason she left.

3. Feminine hygiene product commercials. Is it really necessary to advertise these products on Tee Vee. Maybe I'm being callous, but if the stench from your nether regions empties the room you just entered I'm pretty sure you'll find the appropriate products to take care of the problem. As you can imagine I have a fairly vivid imagination and don't want to the mental images of a yeast infection while I'm eating my grilled cheese sandwich.

4. People's fascination with the crime of the day. I've never understood why people become so truly engrossed with the aspects of an Individual's trial. Prime examples, OJ, Michael Jackson, The Run Away Skank Bride (whatever her name is), Lacy Peterson and now it's Natalie Holloway. I'm not trying to be an Ass here. I truly hope they find Natalie Holloway and bring her home safely. I just don't see why the media feels compelled to focus on only her. Couldn't the time be better spent airing photos and details of the thousands of other missing children? Couldn't the time and effort wasted covering Michael Jackson's case have been spent tracking down the thousands of other pedophiles actively raping children? I don't get why the media and people choose to focus on one aspect that has nothing to do with them when they could be thinking big picture and solving problems that could potentially affect their family.

5. Postitots. What the hell are parents thinking allowing their pre-teen daughters to leave the house wearing clothes that would make a stripper feel naked? Parents you don't have to buy your children clothes that leave nothing to the imagination. Yes your darling little angel is adorable, but I don't want to be able to count the dimples on her ass cheeks. Yes I blame the parents since your average 9 - 12 year old doesn't have their own money to buy stripper wear. Take some responsibility for your child's action now or you can truly expect to be raising their child also.

I'm supposed to pass these on to several people; however a majority of the blogidohexiweb has already responded so I won't directly name anyone. If you haven't tag you're it. You may also feel free to leave your rants in the comments.

There I'm done, now more distractions.

Toodles.

The Music Meme

Jim hit me with the Music meme and being a good Snooze Crew&trade employee I've finished it.

Total volume of music files on my computer: Home: about a gig, at work none.

The last CD I bought was: License to Chill - Jimmy Buffett.

Song playing right now: We don't listen to music at work. The simple minds I work with get distracted by noise. That and they squabble like little bitches over the type of music.

Five songs I listen to a lot, or that mean a lot to me:
Five songs I listen to a lot, or that mean a lot to me:
The Weather is Here I Wish You Were Beautiful - Jimmy Buffett: The story of my love life (prior to meeting my wife).
One Particular Harbor - Jimmy Buffett: First song I heard at a Buffett Show.
The Ballard of Spider John - Jimmy Buffett
Pacing the Cage - Jimmy Buffett
The Walk - Sawyer Brown

I'm supposed to pass this on to five people, so if you're reading this and haven't done it yet, TAG.

If I Could Be... meme

The Thong Pirate tagged moehawk, who in turn tagged me with the "If I Could Be..." meme that Ogre started.

If I could be a llama-rider I would sing the Llama song as I rode circles around the Llama Butchers' houses taunting them (Yay Arsenic Hour).

If I could be a psychologist I would prescribe electroshock therapy to all the hippies I encountered.

If I could be an architect I would design Chesticle Shaped buildings. Aren't there already enough Phallic shaped office buildings?

If I could be a bonnie pirate I would seek safe haven at the Pirate's Cove then go out drinking and wenching.

If I could be a professor I would profess my unending love for Midget Strippers and Hula Dancers; but I'm not so I won't.

So here's how it works. Following there is a list of different occupations. You must select at least 5 of them (feel free to select more). You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select 5 of the items as it was passed to you). Each one begins with "If I could be..." Of the 5 you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession.

For example, if the selected occupation was "pirate" you might take the phrase "If I could be a pirate..." and add to it "I would sail the 7 Seas, dating lasses from around the worlde." See how easy that is?

Here's the list:
If I could be a scientist...

Now to choose the next victims participants....
Sadie (although I'm sure I'll pay dearly for it), Zonker and The Wizard.

If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician...
If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter...
If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary...
If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect...
If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist...
If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete...
If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper...
If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer...
If I could be a llama-rider...
If I could be a bonnie pirate...
If I could be a midget stripper...