Google to replace Main Stream Media

Ever wished that you could get an unbiased opion about someone in the news?
Always thought that John from Wuzzadem was a little off in his Google Talks posts?
Well Google Talk backs up a majority of what John's written about:

Just enter a couple of words in the text box and hit Start, Google will go out and find the informaiton. I've posted a couple of examples below. In red is what I typed, the black is what google talk returned.

phin is a multi-level marketing software
I've been called worse.

Karl Rove is a brilliant Idea
I think there's proof he's more than just an Idea.

Ted Kennedy is a terrorist
It's got to sting when even Google knows you're against you're own country.

Dan Rather is a moron, I think he is going to be a Dad by Peter Downey
We've know for years he's a moron, but why hasn't CBS run with the story that he's knocked up.

Eason Jordan is a serial slanderer of the American military
Google wins again.

Ted Rall is a Commie. asshole.
Ouchies, its gotta sting when a search engine thinks you're a commie asshole, I bet even his momma doesn't love him.

Maurice Hinchey is a member of the GameSpy Network
Maybe he should put down the playstation controller and start watching Fox News, then he wouldn't make an ass of himself going on an on about conspiracy theories.

Go ahead and give it a try, see what Google says:

Google talk a Google Hack by Douwe Osinga

Where were they when I was going to school

Three Tampa Bay Buc's cheerleaders recently paid a visit to Chocachatti Elementary School to help the kids prepare for the FCAT Tests. All I'm wondering is why didn't they have a program like this when I was in school; I would have paid all kinds of attention; hell I'd probably still be enrolled.
(hat tip: barking moonbat)

Things I'd do

If you take Congressperson Hinchey threatening to ruin Sean Hannity and add it to Teddy Kennedy's driving experiences, with the Clinton's list of Crimes and people that mysteriously died, you come to the conclusion that being elected to an Elected Federal Government Position and being a Democrat entitles one to do anything you damn well please. So here's the list of things I'd do if I were a Democrat and elected a Federal Office.

* Bitch Slap (To open handedly slap someone. Denote disrespect for the person being bitch slapped as they are not worthy of a man sized punch.) Ted Rall. Really how can someone be so bitter without being publicly bitch slapped? I'm thinking a pay per view event to raise money for a new Right Wing Propaganda News Channel.
* Pimp slap (back of the hand. not the palm.) Hillary Clinton. Being raised with a traditional southern upbringing I've always respected women, even if they didn't deserve it, thus I've never hit a woman; hell I've never raised my voice at a woman in anger. Thus it would be nice to have reduced moral values of a Democratic Office, which would provide me with the ability to pimp slap senator Clinton.
* Have legislation passed that makes hippy beating the national past time.
* Create "Conservitivisation" Camps for hippy's and liberals. At these camps they would be taught the values of normal people (i.e.: Conservatives).
* Teabag any other democrats who didn't like my policies of Hippy Beating and Conservitivisation Camps. You don't like my policies, well how do you like my whozits on your forehead? Quick a photo-op.
* I'd keep Howard Dean in charge of the DNC, really could conservative bloggers ask or anybody else?
* Line the offices of the Democratic Senators and Congress people so they could no longer receive their orders from the mother ship.
* Punch Barbra Boxer in the mouth; just because I've never hit a lady doesn't keep me from punching a bitch.

Find some sneaky way to bring down the democratic party's validity, like declaring that Karl Rove was behind the Dan Rather and Eason Jordan scandals. Oh wait, they're already doing that with RatherGate and it's just a matter of time before they start up with Eason.

who the hell do i think i are

THE "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" BLOGGER QUIZ
1. Who the hell do you think you are?
I are phin, my picture may lead you to belive I’m a goldfish, but I’m not. I’m actually a guppy. I’ve got a post about it here.

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?
While my favorite phrase is “Would you like fries with that?” I don’t work at a fast food joint. The phrase really confuses my clients to confusion since I work at a vertical software company and at night I e-mail pictures of Ted Rall with farm animals to my friends (both of them).

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?
No, but that isn’t stopping Ted Rall from writing pieces that appear on Yahoo.

4. Do you even read newspapers?
I used to read the paper, but it doesn’t do so well in my Aquarium. I’m hoping Aquaman will hook a brotha up and keep me updated in the happenings of the world in his daily posts at IMAO.

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?
Fox is the only channel that is able to get through my Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie, so no.

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?
I listen to Bob & Tom, is that talk radio? They have a talk show and it’s on the radio, so yeah I guess I listen to talk radio.

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?
For the last time I’m a Guppy, not a goldfish, not a parrot a Guppy. And faxes are so passé I receive my instructions though telepathic channels, just like every other republican stool pigeon.

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?
We wouldn’t want them silenced and fired if they were right. It’s just that we hate stupid people and we’re hoping to keep them from breeding if they can’t find work and afford to reproduce.

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?
I don’t have a passport, I’ve never really liked the cars that Honda makes, I do however own a Mitsubishi Endeavor and a Ford Ranger.

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?

I tried to leave my Aquarium one time but I didn’t do so well breathing air. I’m hoping to be reincarnated as a cat in my next life, I’m just hoping Frank J doesn’t pee on my head.

11. If your so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?
They’re only taking applications for mine sniffing Dolphins. When they have an opening for a Telepathic Republican Stool Pigeon Guppy I’ll be the first to enlist.

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war?
I once saw a turtle and hare fight over a carrot, does that count?

13. Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?
How the hell did you know my best friend was a Jelly Fish and no I haven’t poked him in the face; Jelly Fishes don’t have faces.

14. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?
I stuck my fin in shark poo one time, it smelled icky, it kinda reminded me of Aquaman's breath.

15. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!
I are phin, I are not an engrish major, but I are a telepathic, republican stool pigeon guppy.

In response to Ted Rall

Theodore,
It takes years for some people to realize they are a waste of oxygen; at least you’re a little ahead of the game. In your Who Watches the Watch Dog column on yahoo you referred to bloggers as the new sheriff in town that is drunk, mean, and works for the bad guys. You also said many of bloggers are ordinary people who are uneducated. Hmm, let me think about it for a second.

The blogger’s I read are:

Bad Example: Harvey has a degree in Finance
Basil’s Blog: basil’s a System’s Analyst.
Confederate Yankee: C.Y.’s a Web Design Consultant with a Masters in Tech Writing.
IMAO: Frank J’s an Engineer
Mountaineer Musings: SarahK’s a CPA
The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles: SpaceMonkey is a programmer.

I could continue though my blog roll to prove that we’re educated (I’m a Systems Analyst with a Bachelors in Computer Science and a Masters in Business Administration) but your pinko commie handlers probably don’t let you read blogs written by people with cognitive thought processes; thus you’ll probably need to stick with the Democratic Underground.
May you catch the clap from your gay monkey lover.

Now that my rant is over, on with the fun; Theodore made several valid points about what conservative bloggers think of him, but he was a little off.

"Ted Rall should be beat to within an inch of his life with a baseball bat." – Really we wouldn’t wish Ted beaten within an inch of his life. If someone is going to exert that much effort, they may as well finish off the job. Now it would be cool if someone knee capped him, or just kicked him in the whozits repeatedly until he no longer has the ability to reproduce.

"Every morning when I read the paper, I hope the headline will bring me tidings of Ted Rall's untimely demise. Untimely? Nah. Overdue." - We don’t read the paper each day searching for news of your demise. We do however check Fox News repeatedly during the day hoping you’ve developed lead poisoning from chewing on one to many pencils.

"When I flush the toilet, it isn't considered violence, is it? So killing Ted Rall should be no different." – Now how are you going to compare yourself to something that involves valuable resources? It would be more appropriate if you stated that using traps to kill rats and mice is a public service, so wouldn’t killing Ted Rall be a public service too?

Impeach Maurice Hinchey

There aren’t many people I down right loathe but Congressperson (I refuse to call him a man) Maurice Hinchey is one of them. Confederate Yankee has written two letters to Hinchey asking for an explaination and hasn't heard anything back yet.
Hinchey's conspiracy theory about the Karl Rove and the Bush Administration seem like grounds for impeachment to me. One of the Articles of Impeachment against Bill Clinton was: Abuse of Power. Well, if using the your position as a Congressperson to spread unfounded conspiracy theories about the Bush Administration isn’t abuse of power I’m not sure what is. Maybe I’m wrong, if so I’d like to know. Otherwise I hope that the House & Senate will Impeach Hinchey and on his way out they should give him an Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie as suggested at GOP and the City.

Gender Confusion Continued

basil recently wrote an article about Gender Confusion and the Gender Genie. This got me to thinking about the whole, Group Blog issue over at IMAO. Personally I’m a fan of IMAO and I like the group blog format; Harvey, Right Wing Duck, SarahK and Space Monkey are doing a great job and are providing quite a bit of humor / input that would otherwise be missed. So to the naysayers and anti-group-blog at IMAO I say bugger off; if you don’t like the format, you don’t have to be a troll and talk badly about the posts. Now that that rant is out of the way, the most recent addition to the family of posters is Aquaman. Now I’m not one to go bashing super hero’s but it appears that Aquaman may actually be better categorized as Aquawoman. When I took “Aquaman’s” two most recent fun trivia posts from February 21, 2005 & February 22, 2005 and ran them through the Gender Genie, they came back with the results being female. Don’t take my word for it, give it a try.

Now being the good conspiracy theorist this leads leave me with the following paths to pursue.

1. SarahK is actually posting the Aquaman Fun Facts, thus it should be Aquawoman.
2. One of Frank J’s personalities is a woman.
3. SarahK successfully neutered Frank J after a failed attempt at Group Plan A, and Frank is now posting as Aquaman.

More to come later, I’ve got to finish my Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie.

Home Remedies

I received this list of home remedies the other day and felt they were worth passing along.

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic! Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: just cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
5. A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.
8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape

Update: My first Frank-alanche, all thanks to the lovely and talented SarahK. Those visiting from IMAO: Please look around, leave a comment and bookmark me. Thanx.

Posted by phineas g. at 08:57 AM on February 22, 2005 | Comments (0)

chhh, chhh, changes

I'm making some major changes to the layout of the site; please bear with me while I'm implementing them.
Thanx,
phin

The house of women

I live in the house of women. It's me, my wife, her 3 cats (all female), my boxer (also female) and my 19 year old sister in law. I’ve always respected my father in law; but it has been during the past several months of my sister in law living with us while she goes to college that I’ve realized the hell he must have lived through with three daughters. Now that I have his oldest and youngest living in my house I realize just how little my opinions matter.
There’s just way too much estrogen running though the house and me being the simpleton that I am, well I say some pretty stupid things, and now I think they’re planning to neuter me. Below is a list of things that sounded funny at the time:

• You’re going back for seconds again?
• I promise you that if the clothes in this house were shrinking, mine wouldn’t fit either.
• If you want your boobs to grow just rub a little toilet paper between them, it worked on your butt cheeks.
• If you don’t want me peeing on the seat leave it up.
• So when you say you're leaving does it mean you aren't coming back? Oh, you're just going to work, damn.
• Really, you can leave the seat up, I promise you won’t fall in.
• Those are what we call child berthing hips.
• You know, you really don't sweat much for a fat girl.

A memorial fund will be setup in my name shortly after my wife finds this post.

Reid's proposed Social Security Changes

Harry Ried has posted a social security calculator on his web site.The final numbers have been adjusted for inflation, however on Reid’s website; it figures only a 3% return.I used his calculations and bumped up the return to a more realistic number. I also added a line to the table that shows exactly what type of return you’ll get based on Harry’s plan (Oh that’s right he doesn’t have one).

Enter Your Average Annual Salary (e.g. 40000): $
What Year Were You Born? (1950 or After):
Your Promised Annual Social Security Benefit Now:
How Much You Will Get From Traditional Social Security:
How Much You Will Get From Private Account:
Total Annual Benefit Under Bush Privatization:
Benifits under Harry Reid's Plan: *

* The numbers displayed are not accurate. They should not be counted as accurate since the calculations were pulled from Harry Reid’s web site and then modified. As the old saying goes, you can’t make chicken salad out of chicken shi**!

I love my engrish!

Ahh yes the murdering of the engrish ranguage, how much better could it get?
Engrish.com has the latest and greatest finds from the land that loves all things American.
What is Engrish?
Engrish can be simply defined as the humorous English mistakes that appear in Japanese advertising and product design.

Where else are you going to find a toy Colonel Sanders labeled Uncle Sam?
Or a Kiss my patch t-shirt?

ACORN's gone nuts

A comment in IMAO's How to be romantic on a budget patrick(I don't think he is the starfish from SpongBob) made a comment about ACORN.org. So you don't have to read it:

ACORN, the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now, is the nation's largest community organization of low- and moderate-income families, working together for social justice and stronger communities. Since 1970, ACORN has grown to more than 175,000 member families, organized in 850 neighborhood chapters in 75 cities across the U.S. and in cities in Canada, the Dominican Republic and Peru.

Now on their opening page they're denouncing President Bush's budget, saying it will cut out benefits to those people most in need. If you look a little further into ACORN's web site and find out how to join it will only cost you $10 month. Now is it me or wouldn't $10 a month help pay some of the bills, thus reducing their members governmental dependence? One final question, why should Bush care that people from Canada, the Dominican Republic & Peru don't care for his budget?

It's time to clean the internet.

I mentioned earlier that I love hoaxes and urban legends. I received information below of a "concerned" customer of mine. It seems he doesn't want his e-Commerce site to be down for a full 24 hours.

I was forwarded the e-mail below by my son. If I understand this correctly my clients will be unable to access the site I have hosted with your company. This concerns me as I was guaranteed 99% up time for my e-Commerce site during normal operating hours. Please let me know how you plan to address the situation.

INTERNET MAINTENANCE ANNOUNCEMENT
IT IS URGENT THAT YOU DO NOT CONNECT TO THE INTERNET FROM FEBRUARY 28th 23:59 GMT (11:59 PM) UNTIL 00:01 GMT (12:01 AM) MARCH 2nd.
It's that time again. As many of you know, each year the Internet must be closed down for a 24-hour period of time in order to receive maintenance or a "Tune Up if you will".
Many dead links on the World Wide Web will be removed, as well as ftp links that are no longer used. Lost e-mail will also be removed from the system at this time.
Although the down time for maintenance will be an inconvenience for many people, you will find this will allow for a much more efficient and faster responding internet.

This year, the "Tune Up" will occur from 23:59 GMT (11:59 PM) on February 28th until 00:01 GMT (12:01 AM) on March 2nd. During that 24 hour period, dozens of powerful Internet bots at key locations around the globe will simultaneously scan the Internet and complete the desired maintenance jobs wherever they may be required.
To help protect any valuable data you may have on the Internet from possible corruption, we highly recommend you take the following steps before this 24 hour maintenance period begins:
1. Disconnect all terminals and LANs from the Internet.
2. Disconnect all Internet servers from the Internet.
3. Refrain from connecting any computer, or any other Internet connection device, to the Internet in any way.
Note: The term "other Internet connection device" includes such devices as WebTV.
Again, we understand the inconvenience this will cause many people. And for that, we apologize. However, the great increase in Internet performance you will experience after this short period of maintenance will far outweigh any problems it will cause.

Thank you in advance for your cooperation.
Global Internet Maintenance Organization
Webmasters: It is very important that the entire Internet community be notified of the upcoming Internet maintenance before it gets underway. Please direct all of your users and personnel to read this notice ASAP!
Please pass this announcement to all other Internet users you contact as well.
Thank you.

My reply to him was short and sweet:
Your e-Commerce site won't experience any down time. We are on the Global Internet Maintenance Organization's mailing list and have already booked several back generators to keep our sites up and running. However since your site requires 99% up time during these twenty four hours we will have to increase your yearly support amount.

* All names have been removed to protect the Technologically Challenged.

Update : A quick search on About.com's Urban Legends shows the letter my customer received. I'm still debating on whether or not to let him know he's been had

It's whats for dinner.

I love Urban Legends, they make me happy. The sole reason they make me happy isn’t because they make me feel smarter than the person that forwarded me an e-mail promising a $10,000 check from Uncle Bill, a case of Champaign, a free steak dinner or a naked 18 year old that will massage my hmmm back, nope, its because they’re normally started by someone with the same warped sense of humor I have.

Take SaveToby.com for example, this guy is claiming that unless he receives $50,000 by June 30^th Toby (the cute bunny wabbit on the opening screen) is lunch. That’s 50,000 US Dollars, not pesos, dollars. The same premise is being used to Save Bernd! except they’re looking for 1,000,000 euros.

I like furry woodland creatures as much as the next guy, but wow 50,000 to save that furry little bugger is a bit strong. Don't get me wrong; I like rabbit, rabbit pot pie, fried rabbit, the list goes on and on. I’m sorry Mr. Fluffy, but it looks like you’re toast gonna be served with gravy and toast. If the world is depending upon me to save these wabbits, all I have to say is: Rabbit it's what’s for dinner.

Did you hear that?

Yahoo New reports: Iranian officials are saying an empty fuel tank caused the explosion in Bushehr province, where is building a nuclear power plan, earlier today. Arab media has come forward with witnesses that say an Unidentified Flying Object fired missiles into the area.
Iranian officials have countered with a statement, there is no such thing as a UFO. There is nothing, NOTHING that can penetrate Iranian Air Space. Besides anything that does would certainly meet the burning hell.

Who I'm not.

As basil pointed out in the real me after bloggers brought down Dan Rather and Eason Jordan they've started to turn on each other. Catallarchy discovered that Libertarian Girl actually has a dangling participle, Wizbang has the pictorial proof she's a russian bride. In light of the recent events I felt it may be best for me to clarify a couple of things.

To start of with the picture of the Goldfish up in the top left corner of this site isn't me; I'm actually a guppy, but I'm in a government witness protection program. So please understand why I can't post an actual picture.

Also fo those of you that have been chatting with me on yahoo & aol under with my screen name of QT_14YO_Girl. Well, I'm sorry. My name may have led you to believe I'm a cute 14 year old girl but I'm not. I'm also hoping the people with screen names of boxer_chic, ted_the_drunk and flip_flop_man will all leave me alone. I would like to thank you for the invitations to Massachusetts and California, but I don't think my wife will let me travel that far without her.

I'm not sure what they want me to do with a case of baby oil, a shower curtain and the french maid outfit they sent me; but whatever they have in mind it isn't gonna happen (by the way for any future gifts I'm a size 10, not a 2).

My hope is that by coming forward and admitting my mistakes now my fellow bloggers won't seek my resignation.

And a happy V.D. to you too.

I would like to wish whoever it was that spread their germs to me a happy V.D. and I don’t mean Valentine’s Day. Nothing permanent just a nice case of the clap. I’m not bitter, really I enjoy the coughing, hacking ad drug induced hallucinations.
To everyone else, happy V.D. and by V.D. I mean Valentine’s Day.

Kerry and Kennedy as Laurel and Hardy

Registered Media has released an image displaying the type of action we'd see if Kerry had been elected.

Puppy Blogging

The more people I meet, the more i like my puppy (Chloe). But with a face like the one below who wouldn't.

By the way, Chloe made me post the pictures after seeing Rachel Lucas' dogs Sunny & Digger; Chloe said if I didn't she'd eat my brain.
Update: I recently learned it's a good thing I posted pictures of my puppy instead of my wife's cats. Chase from Peace for Our Time pointed out on basil's blog that killing a cat blogger is self defense. He's also appointed basil executioner.

Posted by phineas g. at 08:37 AM on February 13, 2005 | Comments (0)

And who are you?

Which Family Guy character are you?

tip: It comes in pints

Micro$oft will strike again!

basil's blog has an article that may show why Mozilla & FireFox will be the next Company / Product to be added to the Computer History Museum (I sure hope not though). As Bill Gates so fondly pointed out in what Business 2.0 has determined to be one of the top dumbest moments in business, Microsoft's competitors don't stick around long. I can only imagine what the reaction will be when he finds out one of Micro$oft's employees is using a browser other than IE, Bill may shut down the internet.

A sacrifice I’m not willing to make

Granted I’m not a golfer. I haven’t played the game much and really I don’t understand the thrill people get by chasing around a little white ball. I really fail to understand why someone would have a so they can play from the ladies tees. Talk about being nuts, umm or not. This year Danish-born Mianne Bagger becomes the first trans-gendered golfer to play in the British Open. Concerns over the recent number of Frenchmen who are demanding the ability to play in the the British Open has caused the Ladies Golf Union and LPGA to add a no "Frenchmen Allowed" clause to their gender policy.

I’ve got some Ocean front property in ..

President Bush was recently heard singing the following song in the tune of George Strait’s Ocean Front Property:

I’ve got some ocean front property in Afghanistan, Armenia, Azerbaijan-proper, Azerbaijan-Naxcivan exclave, Iraq, Pakistan, Turkey and Turkmenistan.
From my Desert Hutch you can see the greatly extended Persian Sea.
I’ve got some ocean front property in Afghanistan, Armenia, Azerbaijan-proper, Azerbaijan-Naxcivan exclave, Iraq, Pakistan, Turkey and Turkmenistan.
Those silly Iranian towel heads should have never messed with me.

The latest map of the Persian Sea explains why.

For those of you who are geographically challenged, Iran isn’t there anymore.

Not enough porn on the internet!!

Tecmo has filed a law suit against the creators of a hack (unauthorized program modification) that allows players of the DOA: Beach Volleyball game to see the girls naked. This leaves only one question. Why watch girls naked in a video game? The answer to that question eludes me.
I'm pretty sure they could have filled up a couple of hard drives with porn downloads in the amount of time it took to create the hack.

Bush sends Jong new map of Korean peninsula, talks resume

After President George W. Bush sent Kim Jong II the latest revision of the Korean peninsula by the US Geological Survey the North Korean government has asked to resume talks about nuclear disarmament. A copy of the revised map is below.

Things every man should know

Being a simpleton as I’ve been told on more than once it doesn’t take much to amuse me. Often times I find things thoroughly amusing that my wife is appalled by. Having only been married a short time (three and a half wonderful years if you’re reading dear and an eternity if you aren’t) there are several things I think every man should know.

• It is never intelligent to discuss your wife’s sister’s hotness with her, or the hotness of her friend (that is single and promiscuous) or the hotness of her mom.
• Referring to your wife as “Ol’ Hatefull” because she spouts off at the mouth every thirty seconds isn’t a wise decision.
• Who lit the fuse on your tampon is not an appropriate response to any question for any reason.
• It isn’t acceptable to pee in the sink, even if you move the dishes to the other side.
• If you have a dog and it is a female, you still can’t get away with saying you’re going home to spend time with the bitch.
• Using all the hot water for any reason prior to the misses taking a bath is equal to giving her written permission to remove your whozits, through your nose.
• According to some unwritten law attempting a covered wagon is grounds for a swift kick in the nads at a date to be determined.
• The answer to “Does this skirt, top, dress, etc.. make me look fat?” is never: well since you’ve mentioned it…
• If you’ve ever complimented your wife and she replies with: “daddy says I’m the best” you should be very concerned.
• I don’t care how hot her sister is you can't discuss it with your wife

Tsunami "Landslide" revealed

News.com.au has a story show the release of the sonar images from the origin of the Tsunami last year. This shows proof positive the cause was not an earthquake, but the result of a Cannon Ball by Michael Moore. The imprints in the Ocean floor are identical to those left in Janeane Garafalo’s pool last year when Moore was visiting for a couple of days.

Rights violations in Vietnam

There have been rights violations in Vietnam and no one is doing anything about it. The activists at PETA want your help to save the victims; the addresses of the Vietnamese Embassies are right there so you can tell them how you feel about the problems in their country.
I’m not talking about the Hmong and Lao people that are being systematically killed off. I’m trying to get you to wake up and do something about the poor animals over there that aren’t being taken care of. How cruel and heartless could you be?
Personally I feel bad for the animals that being starved and mistreated, but aren’t there bigger concerns? Come on PETA step up to the plate, Humans are Animals too. Do the right thing PETA and use your abilities to make changes that will benefit mankind.

And just so everyone knows I like animals, Cats are one of my favorites, because they taste just like chicken.
Here Kitty Kitty Kitty.

Al Sharpton finds his purpose in life.

Yahoo news has reported that the Rev. Al Sharpton has joined PETA in calling for a boycott on Kentucky Fried Chicken. It is almost too good to be true, from Civil Rights Leader, to Failed Presidential Bid to Free The Chickens spokesman. Talk about a career backslide; come on Al you've got to save some credibility if you're going to run again in 2008. Now if we could just find some meaningful purpose for the rest of the Democratic Presidential hopefuls.

Scarborough Country's "Real Deal" is really wrong.

What do these women all have in common (and no they aren't all stalking me).
Pamela Turner, 27 from Tennessee
Sarah Bench-Salorio, 28 from California
Katherine Tew, 30 from North Carolina

Kathy White, 39 from Texas
Well maybe they are stalking me but i doubt it, I'm probably bit to old for them.
If you answered they're all being charged for having sex with their students then you're tonight's lucky winner (of what I haven't figured out yet).
On Tuesday February 8th’s episode of Scarborough Country, Joe Scarborough Points out the growing problem of sex abuse by female teachers in public schools. The transcript of the show is below:

Your children are in danger at school, and nobody is doing anything about it.
It’s time for tonight’s “Real Deal.”
Now, yesterday, the police busted a female teacher in Tennessee for having an ongoing sexual relationship with a 14-year-old boy. Pamela Turner was booked on 15 counts of sexual battery and 13 counts of rape.
And last week, I gave you the shocking stats from a recent federal study that suggested almost 10 percent of children attending public schools are sexually abused by their teachers or instructors. You know, we are deluged daily with images of defrocked priests who use their position of power to abuse children, but rarely do we get more than a fleeting glance of the almost daily procession of young female teachers who seduce young middle school boys or high school boys. And the size and the scope of the sexual abuse in American’s public schools dwarfs the Catholic priest scandal. But the press either buries the stories or they fail to connect the dots.
Now, why is that? Well, first of all, as you know, attacking religious figures has long been a pastime of the mainstream media. So when beasts that are in clerics’ uniforms get in trouble, it plays right into the media’s bias against faith. But, secondly, and I think more troubling, the teachers union remains one of the most powerful unions in America.
And their refusal to face up to the subterranean scandal proves once again that too many union bosses are more interested in protecting teachers’ jobs than making sure your children are safe. And as one major figure in teachers unions once said, when asked if he would ever put students’ needs above the teachers, the response was, sure I will, when kids start paying dues.
Well, it’s time to make unions and their offending teachers start paying their dues. Magnify the Catholic priest scandal by 100 and maybe then you can understand just how massive this problem is. It is time for parents to wake up and tell the school board members enough is enough. And while they are at it, they can tell their state reps and senators it’s time to toughen up laws involving sexual abuse in public schools.
We pay for those schools, and we ought to be assured that our children are safe when we drop them off in the morning. There is an epidemic, but nobody is taking notice. It’s endangering our kids, and it’s tonight’s “Real Deal.”

There are a couple of problems with Joe’s diatribe. The biggest is the statistic that 10 percent of all children who attend public school are sexually abused by their teachers. I’m having a hard time believing that number and would like to see the basis of his research, which he doesn’t site or publish anywhere I can find. I’ve had enough statistics classes to know that by adjusting focus group sizes and other control variables you can make statistics say just about anything you want too. By the way did you know that 86.5 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot?
To often teachers are blamed for the short comings of the American educational system, and for all of the underpaid, overworked teachers in America to be grouped with a few perverts is not fair.
I have found research that shows about 13 of every 1000 children in America are abused of those 13 children, 10 percent of them are abused sexually. Last time I checked 0.13 percent(13 / 1000 * 10%) was a far cry from 10 percent.
I searched MSNBC, Fox News, Google and Yahoo for teachers that had sexually abused their students and in the past couple of weeks only the four teachers above were recently charged, not convicted charged. Four teachers don’t make an epidemic even if they were all from the state of Tennessee 4 out of the 67,379 Employed that doesn’t reach epidemic proportions.
Common sense should have come into play when Mr. Scarborough was reading the statistics he was about to give out 10 percent, 1 in ten 10 kids, are abused by their teachers. Think about it for a second, say the average class size is 30 kids, that’s 3 kids per class. There just isn't any way possible it could be kept as quiet as it has.
I really think the ladies mentioned above, if guilty, are isolated incidents. I do not see how it would be possible to keep 10 percent of school age children quiet about being sexually abused.
It appears to me that Mr. Scarborough is going for shock value at the expense of America’s teachers, way to go Joe.
Mr. Scarborough now ranks right up there with Dan Rather & Eason Jordan in his fact checking abilities.
No wonder the blogs are fast becoming a preferred method of news; blogs site their references and in most cases apply common sense.

And I thought I was Anna's biggest fan

So when do you cross the line from being a fan to being a stalker? William Lepeska one of Anna Kournikova's biggest fans evidently crossed the line. I mean all the poor guy did was swim 200 yards naked, walk into her house and try on some clothes. Would it still be considered stalking if he hadn't worn the black thong with white pants?

Thanks for removing yourself from the gene pool.

I can't say I'm upset the Welsh man mentioned in this story removed himself from the list of people able to reproduce. If you're going to remove your whozits based off the outcome of a rugby game you didn't deserve them to start with.

Is Janeane Garafalo calling the shots at Al-Jazeera?

As amusing as the capture John Adam, a.k.a. Cody, a.k.a. G.I. Joe has been; I started to wonder how the Arab / Muslim world perceived the recent events. I started out doing a search for Arab blogs, not much information on our action hero could be found there. Next stop the king of all Arab media, Al-Jazeera.
I started with a search for John Adam: results – nothing.
Next a quick search for Cody: results – nothing.
Maybe their search features don’t work to hot, I’ll poke around a bit surely they have something mentioned on their site about the hoax.
After about two hours of skimming headlines I found no mention of our captured hero. Does he even exist in the eyes of the Arab media or is our brave Cody just another casualty of war??

I went back and read several of the more interesting headlines I saw along the way while searching for Cody. While I found nothing about the mistake the main stream media made, what I did take away from the review was a sick feeling in my stomach. Were it not for my convictions and staunch anti-liberal mindset I’d almost be able to sympathize with the people in the Middle East that hate the US and what it stands for. The propaganda machine at Al-Jazeera could make Adolph Hitler look like the patron saint of tollerance, peace and happiness. I was and still am totally in awe of how a media giant that bills itself as an organization that will: “cover all viewpoints with objectivity integrity and balance.”

A strategy, but not one for freedom: This article from May describes George Bush as a fundamentalist Christian who constantly talks about his "crusade" in the Middle East.

US reform threatens Arab identity: Does a great job of describing how the United States’ hope for a free and democratic Iraq is nothing more than a ploy to destroy thousands of years of culture and to stop out the Islamic Faith.

US initiatives for reform: Is and interview with Danielle Pletka, vice-president for foreign and defence policy studies at the Washington DC based American Enterprise Institute for Public Affairs Policy (AEI), here the pictures are worth 100,000 words. When she says the US isn’t in a quagmire in Iraq the editors promptly insert a picture of a burned out Hummer.

It’s no wonder to why the Arab world hates the US if Al-Jazeera is the number one media outlet. The terrorists killing Muslims in Iraq aren’t called terrorists, they’re “Fighters” and their targets are the occupying forces. I found plenty of articles describing how the US was leading a war ON Iraq or AGAINST Iraq. There were also plenty of statements that categorized Westerners as Crusaders out to Colonize the holy land once again.

Maybe I’m naïve, but it seems that with the successful elections that took place just a little over a week ago there would be some toning down of the Anti-Western stance. But instead the propaganda giant has decided to use its influence to state that the United States is using the recent elections to legalize the occupation of Iraq.

I’m starting to think that the 10 – 12 journalists killed Eason Jordan mention may have actually terrorists with cameras and that Al-Jazeera is an offshoot of CNN.

Then again it could quite possibly be that Janeane Garafalo is calling the shots over at Al-Jazeera and that would explain just about everything.

Be afraid, be very afraid

Be afraid, be very afraid if John Gibson’s forecast is correct and Jeb doesn’t win the presidency in ’08 the alternative could be a nightmare. I don’t think I want to image a world run by the Clintons. The thought of Bill in charge of the U.N. and Hillary in the Whitehouse makes me nauseous. What small country is Hillary going to destroy if she has her finger on the button when Bill’s next sexual escapade goes public? I have to agree with John Gibson and wonder just what the hell is Kofi thinking.

Below is a list, from The Progressive Review, of the records the Clintons set during their eight year visit to D.C.
- The only president ever impeached on grounds of personal malfeasance
- Most number of convictions and guilty pleas by friends and associates
- Most number of cabinet officials to come under criminal investigation
- Most number of witnesses to flee country or refuse to testify
- Most number of witnesses to die suddenly
- First president sued for sexual harassment.
- First president accused of rape.
- First first lady to come under criminal investigation
- Largest criminal plea agreement in an illegal campaign contribution case
- First president to establish a legal defense fund.
- First president to be held in contempt of court
- Greatest amount of illegal campaign contributions
- Greatest amount of illegal campaign contributions from abroad

People for the Ethical Treatment of Dolls

In light of recent events U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan announced at a press conference today the creation today of a special task force to ensure no dolls are abused in the war against terror. The taskforce named People for the Ethical Treatment of Dolls (PET’D) will be lead by none other than Barbra Boxer. Mr. Annan feels that since she has outlived her usefulness to the American people and she may as well be of some usefulness.

After taking the microphone over Ms. Boxer announced her first priority would be to pressure the Bush Administration into creating the No Dolls Left Behind Act. She feels the Act will be able to gain support from Senator John Kerry since nobody has taken him seriously after his failed presidential run. Boxer also hopes to gain support from the Muppets and Sesame Street.

Things President Bush should have said in the State of the Union Address

Any demand for a withdrawal date is as insignificant as it was when Ted Kennedy made it. We’re in Iraq until the job is done. Then we’ll come home.

Mission Accomplished = removing Saddam Hussein from power had been accomplished. Simple enough or should I draw pictures?

We’re still in Japan & Germany does that mean we lost World War II also?

We have begun the invasion of Canada. The 51st – 63rd States are expected to be annexed shortly. Once we have completed the annexation of Canada we will take over Mexico, thus reducing the problems of Illegal immigration and reducing the amount of border we have to protect.

Republicans have control of the house and senate; who cares if the Democrats don’t like my policies, the Democrats have been rendered irrelevant by the American people.

To prevent any further cases of Post Election Selection Trauma I hereby declare myself Emperor of the United States of America.

Edward Kennedy NUDE!!!!!

For some reason I always thought it was Wine and Cheese not Bourbon and Cheese; either way Senator Edward Kennedy has finally been exposed for the Rat that he is.

Senator Kennedy claims that Mr. Gonzales does not represent the United States commitment to individual dignity, our respect for the rule of law, and our reputation around the world as a beacon for human rights, not as a violator of human rights.

Senator Kennedy bases these claims not on information he has in hand, but on information Mr. Gonzales has not given to the Committees during his vetting.

On Tuesday Senators Kennedy and Durbin wrote a letter to the members of the Judiciary and Government Accountability Committees stating they feel:

“We believe that both the Judiciary Committee and the Homeland Security Committee should separately or jointly take the necessary steps to obtain all of the documents referred to in the article, and any other documents relating to the events and activities described in the article. The Senate should have an opportunity to assess all materials relating to the First and Second Bybee memorandums before it begins debate on the Gonzales and Chertoff nominations”

It seems Senator Kennedy is trying turn Mr. Gonzales into the poster child for democratic stalling of nominations. By the time a Committee led by democrats discovered all the documents that were or were not mentioned in the letter only the pickled Senator and roaches would remain.

Or perhaps the truth revealed itself in the final two words of the statement above "Chertoff Nomination". Could it be that by Senator Kennedy is hoping to gain enough information while running Mr. Gonzales through the ringer to keep Michael Chertoff from being nominated? Just in case you’ve forgotten, Michael Chertoff stepped on quite a few democrats toes when he was Chief Counsel to the Senate Whitewater Committee.

Or it could be the ole Teddy is still upset someone besides him is president.