I could keep quiet, but I'm not

I was gonna just keep my big mouth shut when I read Acidman's reply (a warning that his language gets a bit rough) to the topic we discussed earlier this week. In his profanity laden tirade, it's his blog he can use the language conventions of the Democratic Underground if he wants, he brings in some incoherent standpoint that since the women he's been involved with have used sex as a weapon, all women must.

Normally I wouldn't get involved in an argument with someone who isn't being reasonable about a subject, see my father taught me a long time ago that there's no need to get into a pissing contest with a skunk, but I was also raised to speak up when a disservice is being done.

I truly am sorry that his ex-wife won't let him talk to his son and has turned his son against him, or whatever the case is.

But to attack the personalities of the ladies just isn't right, especially when they haven't done anything to him. Sure some women use sex as a weapon, if he'd have keep a civil tone and asked I'm sure everyone would agree with him. But to assert that due to cartoon images they're all using sex as a weapon is crap. I'll let them pick him to pieces about that.

Since Acidman started the trend of jumping from one conclusion to another here's my take on the whole situation. Acidman got burned by his ex-wife, again I'm sorry about that, but at some point you have to be man enough to pick up the pieces and realize that all women aren't to blame. Sure there are some that are bitter shrews, just like there are some grumpy old farts running around, but with a little common sense and a decent judge of character you can weed out the good from the bad. But of course that would require accepting at least partial blame for our situations and that just isn't rational is it?

Maybe he should stick to bashing the unemployed, dope-smoking ex-friend shacking with his ex-wife and his ex-wife. Or if she's as big a pain as he makes her out to be send him a thank you note and MOVE ON. At some point Acidman's got to realize that being pissed at the world isn't going to do him much good and the best thing to do is get along with his life. Espcially when he lashes out at a group of ladies that haven't done anything to him with the rational of a two year old. If he doesn't like women, well there are plenty of places he can meet a nice guy to play butt darts with.

I guess next Acidman be all over me for having a goldfish posted on my site, you know the whole: fish are related to shell fish and oysters are an aphrodisiac which leads to women using sex as a weapon logic , but hopefully he'll be man enough to do it in a civil tone.

At least some of them get it

I've been pretty hard on the Democratic Underground, but after several months of stopping by I've finally seen a post that makes me think not all of them are wearing Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanies. Really as hard as it is to believe Az's post It's the civility stupid speaks volumes for anyone trying to get a point across, no matter what side of the isle you're on.

A majority of the people that replied, I can't since I've been black listed, were reasonable. There were of course the ones that said they should be civil towards each other when posting in the DU, but the only way to get a point across to some(in otherwords Conservatives) was to flame them, but a majority were reasonable.

Maybe some of the folks on the far left and hopefully some on the far right are starting to realize that they've been pushing the extremes for way too long. Really how much more can those of us that aren't on the edge tolerate from the vocal minorities?

She asked for it

How can you expect a guy not to be amused when his wife asks him for six inch wood?

The exact conversation has taken place at my house on more than one occasion, and yes with pretty much the same results.

The Tolerant Left?

Since when has being a progressive thinker involved throwing around racial slurs?

Not sure what I'm talking about?

Well according to the Democratic Underground Jessie Jackson is a whore and "and is now officially an Uncle Tom. Come on, sitting down with the likes of Randall Terry? Sean Hannity?" Don't take my word for it click the link, it'll open in a new window. (Oh and a page out of Confederate Yankee's handbook I have a screen shot in case they change or delete the thread.)

Why haven't the moderators deleted the thread if they don't allow posts that are "inflammatory, extreme, divisive, incoherent, or otherwise inappropriate. Do not engage in anti-social, disruptive, or trolling behavior. Do not post broad-brush, bigoted statements." The quoted text is directly from the Democratic Underground's Discussion Forum Rules.

They're already discredited themselves as tolerant of gay republican’s (do a quick Google search for Jeff Gannon) are they trying to prove they're bigots also?

A recap of the morning after.

A recap of yesterday's topic: Will a guy respect a girl if she sleeps with him too soon?

Chrissy provides her presective about self respect.
Kathy explains that men are pigs .
Puffy claims he's Irresistible.
Sadie explains that men really aren't that complicated.
Silk provides an accurate description of the three types of men.
The Wizard proves that he's a gentleman.

Zonker askes if men ever really respected women in the first place.

Since the common theme is that men are transparent, could it be that women enjoy the tourment?

Dax Montana has asked the Diva's to chime in on cheating and wouldn't mind hearing from the four Mousecateers Musketeers in the mattter also.

Will she respect me in the morning?

The demystifying diva's topic this week; will a guy respect a girl if she sleeps with him too soon?

If you are reading this and you manage to seduce me, then yes I would have trouble respecting you in the morning.

1. Because I’m married & the wife doesn’t read my blog.
2. Because she slept with me, really could she stoop much lower?
3. Because even after you slept with me you stuck around until the sun came up.

To directly answer the question: will a guy respect a girl if she sleeps with him too soon? Nope, but I can't image to many of the ladies out there respecting a guy they bedded to soon either. Much less wanting long term / meaningful relationship with him. Sure there are the exceptions to the rule, lust love at first site, blah, blah, blah... But thats just what it is and exception.

A majority of the guys I ran around with i college would try to get a girl into the sack on their first date. If she was a willing participant, then normally their relationship didn’t progress, if she didn’t then she was “relationship material”. Was it right? In my opinion no, I’ve had more than one argument about it(prior to anyone jumping to conclusions I didn’t even attempt to kiss my wife goodnight until our third date).

Its just fact that there is a double standard(don't bitch at me I didn't set it) that most people adhere too, otherwise the question would have been "would you respect someone you slept with too soon". Currently in our society it is acceptable for a guy to sleep with as many women as possible, whereas a woman is expected to remain chaste. To me its none of anyone else's business who's playing slap and tickle with who.

If you can respect yourself in the morning, more than likely the person you've just rolled around in the hay with is going to respect you too. But my bet, and I'd feel pretty safe making it, is that if you're going to respect yourself in the morning you've waited until the time is right. What's the right time, that is a matter that you'll have to discuss with the person you're gonna bump uglies with. Which means yup, you really should at least discuss doing the horizontal mambo with your partner prior to the act.

I can’t really say it any better than The Wizard and Feisty have, it's all about self respect. Silk does a great job describing the three types of hoodlums that are trying to get your daughters in the sack. Sadie calls a spade a spade and lays out the mindset of a majority of my college friends regarding sex(are men really that transparent?) Kathy explains why women think men are pigs, "I promise I'll call really I will", and like Sadie she finds that men are transparent(I'm noticing a trend).

Its that time of year again

It's the time of year when the flowers are bloomin', the birdies are chirpin' and i can't get to friggin' sleep.

Not worry though, my insomnia only lasts from spring through the end of fall.

The bad news, if you thought I was incoherent before, wait until I've only had ten hours of sleep in a three or four day time period.

The good news, by not being able to sleep I've set up rotating descriptions at the top of the page. I stole the idea from The Flying Space Monkey, hopefully he'll forgive me when he gets back from the boondocks.

The code for this option is below and should work for any of the blog platforms.

The code below can be copied and pasted into your template wherever you would like the random quotes to appear. If you have less than ten quotes, I would recommend that you duplicate some of them to fill in all ten sections.

<script language="JavaScript">

 var Quote=new Array()

 Quote[0] = "Insert Your Quote #1";

 Quote[1] = "Insert Your Quote #2";

 Quote[2] = "Insert Your Quote #3";

 Quote[3] = "Insert Your Quote #4";

 Quote[4] = "Insert Your Quote #5";

 Quote[5] = "Insert Your Quote #6";

 Quote[6] = "Insert Your Quote #7";

 Quote[7] = "Insert Your Quote #8";

 Quote[8] = "Insert Your Quote #";

 Quote[9] = "Insert Your Quote #10";

 var Q = Quote.length;

 var whichQuote=Math.round(Math.random()*(Q-1));

 function randomHeader(){document.write(Quote[whichQuote]);}

 randomHeader();

</script>

<noscript>

 Default Quote I case a Browser doesn't run Java

</noscript>

[+/-] show/hide the code

If you have any questions about the code in this post, please leave a nasty comment for me or send me hate mail.

Words of Wisdom

Confucius Say: Man who cooks carrots and pees in same pot very unsanitary.

Is the end near?

Could it be that the Crumpet Muncher Sortapundit has had enough?
We were once again trying to find incrimating evidence Sortapundit selling pictures of Jamie Lynn Spears naked and the locigal place to us was a set of Strip clubs in Ohio with midget strippers. We didn't find him selling pictures of Jamie Lynn Spears naked by Strip clubs in Ohio with midget strippers but we were able to capture several images of him coming towards us.

Click to Enlarge in Another Window

We are unsure as to whether he was offering us a drink in peace or trying to slip us a ruffie and take advantage of it. As information becomes available you can find out about it here or on one of many allies web sites.

Below are the steps we are taking to protect the seven sacred searches:

We are currently seeking a broad range of reforms and improvements for the seven sacred search results of:

• Gizoogle
• Paris Hilton's cell phone number
• The Niggas at DFNCTSC
• Strip clubs in Ohio with midget strippers
• Girls big tit
• Free big tit sites
• Jamie Lynn Spears naked

Including reducing the size of the hostile blogs that try to take over basil's search results for:

• Gizoogle
• Paris Hilton's cell phone number
• The Niggas at DFNCTSC
• Strip clubs in Ohio with midget strippers
• Girls big tit
• Free big tit sites
• Jamie Lynn Spears naked

[+/-] show/hide the searches, not really work safe

Can Sortapundit recover from his losses, or will he continue his current trend of loosing places in the blog war and their seven sacred searches?

Update: Sortapundit has declared defeat. Am I psyco psychic or what? He has been a worthy adversary, more to come later.

Disappearing text for long posts

OddyBoBo asks and so she receives. I'm a sucker for a damsel in distress(even if she didn't model the tight sweater & scarf). She's asked for a way to Show / Expand text in posts. I started out with the information from Blogger Help which expands the the entire article if you follow it word for word. Below are the instructions that will allow you to Show / Hide parts of a long post.

You first have to make a couple of additions to your template.

Template Modifications:
somewhere between the <style> and </style> tags add the following two lines:
.posthidden {display:none}
.postshown {display:inline}

After the </style> tag and before the </head> tag paste the following function.

<script type="text/Javascript">

function expandcollapse (postid) {

whichpost = document.getElementById(postid);

if (whichpost.className=="postshown") {

whichpost.className="posthidden";

}

else {

whichpost.className="postshown";

}

}

</script>

Now when you want to Show / Hide Part of a Post you will add the following code after the start of your post:

Here is the beginning of your post, at the expansion point insert the following code:

  <span class="posthidden" id="UniqueID">

Here is the rest of your post.
It could be text or pictures that aren't work safe.
Like a woman Modeling a Sweater and Waving a Scarf.
Then at the end of the post be sure to put this text or it won't work.

  </span><a href="javascript:expandcollapse('UniqueID')">


[+/-] show/hide this post</a>

[+/-] show/hide this post

Clear as mud?

Any questions sent hate mail or leave a nasty comment.

Currently in blogger I can't find a way to automate the UniqueID portion so you'll have to start a list of your own. My recommendation would be to use a numeric value and increase it by one each time.

Update: Mustang 23 of Assumption of Command made the following suggestion in the comments.

I based my Unique ID on the Date of the post.
For example

DDMMMYY#
27MAR051

Where # is the order that I createthem for that day. this way you won't have to remember which uniquie IDs you have used

This makes sense to me and it from everything I've found the past couple of days blogger doesn't allow access to the Post#.

I've answered your questions.

I guess I struck a nerve with my previous post about Moon Bats, Liberals and the Democratic Underground because I got a response from a guy that was so pissed he double posted his comment. Since he took the time to type everything twice exactly the same I’ll be kind enough to respond to him.

nonny’s first question: So I take it you are happy with all the killing your party's head has inflicted upon American, Iraqi and Afganistani families?

Well I don’t really recall President Bush firing any shots.

In Afghanistan didn't President Bush did respond to a direct attack against America by removing the Taliban from power and shutting down Osama’s training camps. Something President Clinton could have done, but lacked the back bone to do. You do recall the four Passenger Airliners that were Hijacked by Terrorist and used as missiles right or were they planted by Karl Rove and the Bush administration also? I guess we could have signed Osama up for the fruit for the month club and sent really nasty letters asking him not to do it again. If Hillary or another Moon Bat gets elected in ’08 maybe they could sent a “Sorry I Destroyed Your Terrorist Training Camps” to Osama along with a couple of Million Dollars in restitution so he can restart his operations, just in case the republicans win the whitehouse again.

I guess we could have left Saddam in power in Iraq. It really seems the people there liked him, you know with them slapping the pictures and statues of him with the bottoms of their sandals once he was removed from power (I hear that’s the ultimate sign of respect, like naming your kid after him, in Islamic cultures). I guess I see the liberal’s point of view; he wasn’t really gassing his own people (they were Kurds) and his sons should have been allowed to rape and kill whom ever they want (Boys will be Boys). I really do wish the administration would get a grip and realize that the Middle Eastern People really do enjoy being oppressed by tyrannical mass murders.

I’m not happy with the American families that have lost loved ones; it bothers me that we have lost over 1,500 soldiers fighting the war on terror and freeing the Iraqi people. And you know the bad part is we could have prevented the whole thing by staying out of Iraq the first time and letting Saddam take over the entire Middle East, just think the entire region could be in the control of one man.

You are just parading down the street with your head held high, proud that you are part of this "thing" that has kept perhaps the most inept, bumbling, thoughtless, hypocrical and unintelligent man shoehorned into office in order that suited looters might better raid the riches?
I wouldn’t really call it a parade, I don’t have a marching band or any floats or clowns, but am I proud that I voted for President Bush twice? Damn Skippy.
So I’m guessing you think President Bush’s entire life has been a vast right wing conspiracy?
I’ll concede somewhat to the bumbling part, so he isn’t the most eloquent and charismatic speaker of the 21st Century; but please keep in mind that one of the best speakers of the 21st Century is Bill Clinton and what will he go down in history for? Getting caught in the Oval with his pants down.
Thoughtless, haven’t you see the pictures of him mourning with the families that lost loved ones in the September 11th attacks and the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq?
Hypocritical (it does have a t in it), I can’t really see where he’s changed his stance a whole lot. If anything he’s stuck to his “guns” to a fault.
Unintelligent, I guess anyone can earn a Bachelors Degree from Yale and a Masters in Business Administration from Harvard from Ivy league schools? I see in your profile you have a Masters degree from Harvard so you must know how hard it is to earn a graduate degree from an Harvard.

Have you no standards at all? Sure I have standards. If I didn’t I’d be a Moon Bat.

One day you will wonder why you wasted so many years defending the indefensible.
You may want to rethink that one, see I’m proud of my country, proud of my countries military, proud of my President’s decision to make the world a better place. Come to think of it I really am repulsed by the Elections in Afghanistan, Iraq, Egypt and Saudi Arabia where ever did I go wrong?

Wake up while you still have an inkling of a chance. Force yourself to be impartial, for even one day, and it will all become clear to you.
Maybe I’ll try it this weekend. I’ll start by doing all the things we’ve freed the Middle East from. I’ll beat my wife for speaking back to me (a couple of kidney shots should do it), then I’ll go out and hand out some justice Islama-Style. Come to think of it I'm pretty much hopeless.

[+/-] show/hide this post
Here's the thing: The Democratic Party perishes at the peril of the whole, as we are the stewards and not the looters and polluters.
Funny you use the word stewards to describe the Democratic Party. Steward: (noun) transport somebody who attends to the passengers on an aircraft or ship, or handles food provisions and dining arrangements on a ship. Well it isn’t a ship but Moon Bats can always scream: ALL ABOARD THE CRAZY TRAIN, and hop on the Democratic Underground.com Railroad, don't forget to ask the last nut out of the tree to turn off the light.

See anon, Nonny, don’t you feel special.
I could have offered you an Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie but I'mbetter than that.
If you had been from anywhere other than North Carolina I probably would have taunted you.
You know by using phrases grown ups really can’t stand.
But I’m better than that.
I didn’t taunt you by going Booga booga,
Or screaming Nonny nonny boo boo, stick your head in poo poo
Or singing Nonny nahh, nonny nahh nahh, hey hey hey, good bye

But I didn't because I'm better than that.

I’ll patently await your mature non-hate filled lefty response.
I’ll patently await your mature non-hate filled lefty response.

Update: Rusty over at the Jawa Report has an article about a top leader of the Taliban Islamist rebels beening killed. Is this an example of the senseless killing your talking about; oh and I do feel sorry for the Raz Mohammed's human shields family.

Those wild and crazy DU'ers

Capt'n Teach over at Pirates Cove noticed that for the most part the Lefty Bloggers aren't having any fun. They really are a hate filled group, and as if the Deamoncratic Underground and it's underlings weren't already pathetic enough, they're now super proud of one of the posters being cited in the Washington Post.

Was it a ground breaking, earth shaking revelation that the Moon Bats on the far left are driving out moderate democrats? Nope. Did one of their posters finally realize that Karl Rove and the Bush Administration aren't behind all things evil in this world? Nope. Have they realized that teaming with the likes of Scoobie Davis, more to come on him later, just isn't going to further their cause? Nope.

It was the Shocking Photographic Proof from April of '04 that the President has touched several bald men's heads. I'm not sure what Dan Froomkin & The Washington Post were trying to accomplish by linking to JuliusBlog's article with pictures of the President Touching bald men's heads. But to display the logic of a Moon Bat, Rigorous Intuition tries to tie in Jeff Gannon which of course is logical to a Moon Bat because Jeff Gannon is bald.

At the rate the some of the super Moon Bats in the Media and the rest of the hate filled lefties are going will there even be a Democratic Party left in '08?

basil's been kidnapped

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
basil from basil's blog has been kidnapped.
Last report is that he was waiting on some the chicks heading to Gulf Shores.
Well if this is them, I'm not sure of their intention, but poor basil. And to think what they'll do with too him. Oh, the horror.

Click to Enlarge in Another Window
basil was last seen on I-85 South headed towards Montgomery.
Update: These ladies may look sweet and innocent, but they should be considered armed and very dangerous. They recently opened fire on several patrol cars trying to pull them over. It also appears basil has developed Stockholm Syndrome as he's driving the car, and doing the shooting.

The picture of basil the gnome was shamelessly taken from here.

Sortapundit or Sortapimp?

Spies for the Good Guys in the basil vs. the Crumpet Muncher Sortapundit have uncovered the two images below of Sortapundit and one of his Niggas at DFNCTSC

They were seen selling pictures of Jamie Lynn Spears naked by a set of Strip clubs in Ohio with midget strippers. There is no doubt they were trying to score passwords to Free big tit sites using the offer Paris Hilton's cell phone number. Really would a real pimp need to wear a pirate thong and all that other crap to find a Girls big tit?

This post was delayed for 24 hours when a cease fire was declaired for Wednesday, in Honor or Sortapundit being white trash.

Do's and Don'ts of Flirting

The Diva’s Christina, Kathy, Sadie & Silk all chimed in with this week’s topic the Do’s and Don’ts of Flirting. The first installment of The Men’s Club is up over at Down for Repairs with additional commentary available from Puffy, Zonker and my two and a half cents worth is below. I recommend reading at least a couple of the links above prior to my commentary, don't worry they'll open in a new tab if you're using Fire Fox or a new window if you're using something else.

I’ll agree with the ladies that flirting is an art form, and by in large I agree with a majority of what they had to say.

Pretty much everyone agrees that eye contact is the key and that men aren’t supposed to check out women’s chest-ticles when we’re flirting. All the ladies & the Wizard mentioned something about comments / looks being directed towards breasts. Well if the ladies wouldn’t push them up with the Miracle Wonder Bra, two boxes of Kleenex and a roll of duct tape they wouldn’t be busting out of your blouse for us to see. I mean if I stuffed two packs of gym socks down my shorts you couldn’t help but look could you?

Smile, everyone says be sure to smile. Well that’s all fine and dandy if you have decent teeth, which was discussed earlier by me here and by the ladies here, here, here and here. But what happens if you have a grin like a hockey player? How do you explain to a woman that you still have all your teeth, it’s just that most of them are in your pocket. Oh and we aren’t supposed to keep a grin on our face like a serial killer either. To be the fairer sex women sure are confusing, kinda judgmental too, I mean you can't judge a book by it's cover but you can judge a man by his teeth / smile?

Ask questions about topics that both people are interested in, like yourself what better topic? Plus you want to impress the woman you’re flirting with by being knowledgeable about the topic right. But be sure to ask questions about her too, you need to find out if she has a steady job and decent pay (how else is she going to support your bad habits right?).

Everybody says touching is good. The only problem is how do men really know you women are clean? We all know women are dirty smelly drunken buffoons that go for days without showering, oh wait that’s a bachelor nevermind. So touching is good, but you can't be too touchy feely, and we aren't supposed to get all grabby. I’m really getting confused here, if I can’t look at a woman’s breasts how am I supposed to make sure I don’t touch them, by accident of course?

We aren’t supposed to be clever in our ddvances and yet they all say be witty and to make them laugh. They say everybody enjoys being around someone with a good sense of humor. Above all men are supposed to relax, RELAX, JUST HOW THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO RELAX, THERE’S TOO MUCH PRESSURE.

Welcome to the world of flirting where a sexual harassment suit is just one slip of the tongue away ( I guess that could be taken literally and figuratively couldn’t it?)

Fred's world tour

Fred came by to say howdy. He got here from Oddybobo's place, who got him from Ogre who got him from Harvey who theived him from Nick whose original assignment was to steal pencils from Chuck. Fred stopped by eastern North Carolina for a bit and met some very, ummm, nice young ladies.

Click to Enlarge in Another Window
Fred was last seen being pulled away from the keg by the group of girls above chanting something about a road trip. As Fred makes his way around the blogosphere during Chuck's vacation, be sure to borrow him for a visit to your place and post a trackback to http://blog.mu.nu/cgi/mt-tb.cgi/71993 so Chuck can eat his heart out that Fred had a better spring break!

The Men's Club

It's Tuesday, which means theDemystifying Divas (Christina, Kathy, Sadie and Silk) are discussing today's topic of the "Do's and Don'ts of Flirting."

A group of men among men have decided to come forward and provide men's prospectives to the Diva's topics. The name of this group you may ask, The Men's Club (Puffy , The Wizard, Zonker and me). On Wednesdays we'll be offering a Man's perspective on the Diva's topic of the week.

The first installment of The Men's Club will be post Wednesday at Down for Repairs.

how to destroy the earth

The Moon Bats and other Hate Filled Lefties have been trying to destroy the USA for some time now. As we all know countries and empires rise and fall, but the earth has been around for quite a while. I was browsing the internet earlier and saw a guide for destroying the earth. Below is the preface for the guide:

You've seen the action movies where the bad guy threatens to destroy the Earth. You've heard people on the news claiming that the next nuclear war or cutting down rainforests or persisting in releasing hideous quantities of pollution into the atmosphere threatens to end the world.

Fools.

The Earth was built to last. It is a 4,550,000,000-year-old, 5,973,600,000,000,000,000,000-tonne ball of iron. It has taken more devastating asteroid hits in its lifetime than you've had hot dinners, and lo, it still orbits merrily. So my first piece of advice to you, dear would-be Earth-destroyer, is: do NOT think this will be easy.

This link provides a guide for those who do not want the Earth to be there anymore.

Hmm, maybe we could the Moon Bats get preoccupied with this instead of ruining our fair nation.

I got lucky

I started to respond in the comments of my previous post, A lession to be learned, but then I decided what I have to say it worthy of a post. I am king of the castle here, and only here, so I get to do this type of stuff.

The reason I say I got lucky is simple. The comments from the previous post about Terri Schavio have, to date, been civil, intelligent and well formed discussions. Not everyone agrees, but I'm impressed at the civil tone that's been displayed.

When carolinagrayghost voiced an unpopular opinion, especially among Republicans and those that lean to the right (which I think a majority of my readers do), he was met with coherent well formed comments that didn’t attack personally him and the big point, they were logical. One of the benefits I have, that most don't, is that I know the carolinagrayghost personally and know some of the medical back ground and life experiences that he used to formulate his opinion. So while it isn’t popular opinion, I know where he’s coming from. I’ll also add this, if he felt Terri Schiavo had the slightest chance at recovering he’d voice that opinion too, popular or not.

After carolinagrayghost make a comment, John from WuzzaDem, replied explaining his side of the case. Which he’s based of research, he started out wanting to know why Terri’s parents had been allowed to interfere and changed his mind, after looking at both sides of the case. John does an excellent job of explaining the case to keep Terri alive; he has articles here, here and here.

Then The Mean Sister (who is 5'6" and a sometimes contributor to basil’s blog) responded to carolinagrayghost with an explanation of the painful loss of a child she endured and her view on the situation.

Me I don’t think I’ve stated one way or the other, and if you’re expecting me to do so now, well I’m not. I’m not sure what I’d do if I were in their situation, except follow in carolinagrayghost & John’s steps and get as much information from both sides and hopefully follow The Mean Sister’s (who is 5'6" and a sometimes contributor to basil’s blog) steps and make the best decision for my loved one. But that isn’t the purpose of this post. The purpose of it is that I got lucky. I’ve think I may have cornered the market on intelligent responses for the Terri Schiavo case. All the other sites with information about Terri’s case I’ve read that allow reader comments have been full of unsubstantiated claims and based on emotion.

On of the biggest problems, in my humble opinion, that the people pushing to keep Terri alive have to overcome is the fanatics. I’ve seen on other sites once someone mentions removing her feeding tube the readers attack like the flying monkeys from the Wizard of Oz, and often times their arguements are about as realistic. At some point people need to realize that you don’t do anything to further your cause when you start making irrational statements and personal attacks, everyone knows the liberals over at the Deamoncratic Underground and KOS do enough of that.

A lession to be learned

I've tried to keep my mouth shut regarding the Terri Schiavo's case; I just haven’t really felt it was my place since I’m not a trained medical practitioner or legal expert. But since congress gets to put their two cents in I’m going speak about it too.

Caring parents, for better or worse, are eternal optimists in regards to their children. This being stated, it is unfair to assume or expect a caring parent will allow a child to die, especially in a manner that is as painful to watch as starvation.

There should have been a couple of riders on the bill pushed through last night. The first should have been a requirement for people to make their wishes known in regards to terminal conditions. A couple of check boxes on the Drivers License form or a method similar to registering for selective service would suffice for those too lazy to fill out a living will. The second rider should have been a law allowing medical practitioners to end a person’s life with a terminal condition without starving them to death.

Living wills aren’t extremely complex documents. It is no fun to think about what to do if we become sick or harmed and can no longer care for ourselves. The fact of the matter is simple, if one thing is to be learned from Terri Schavio it is that we can not afford to leave our wishes open to interpretation. Below are a couple of links to living wills that will allow you to think about how to proceed should you need to rely on it. The living wills below may not be up to the legal standards in your state, thus you should contact a trained legal professional to finalize your living will, but defiantly take the time to fill one out if you haven’t already.

http://www.lectlaw.com/forms/f115.htm
http://www.peopleslawyer.net/willform.html

Really what are you waiting for Christmas? Get a move on it already.

When will the violence end?

basil's wife was attacked recently by a rooster, you can read the details about it here. Through confidential sources we have obtained pictures of the rooster that perpetrated the attack. Click the image below for the full sized version.

After seeing the image one has to wonder, who would raise such a creature, what purpose does it serve?

Is the rooster basil’s secret weapon he’ll use to combat Sortapundit?

What devious plan does basil have for this giant fowl?

Get well soon Mrs. basil!

(Hopefully I won't be castrated for this post)
Note: No chickens were harming in the writing of this article.

Whose your daddy now Sortapundit?

The first barrage of attacks unleashed on Sortapundit have been successful. No longer is Sortapundit the master of his Domain, the Shock and Awe strategy planned by basil has worked beautifully. Yet even with a successful first round of attacks, never before in history has so much hope for so many people been gathered together in a single group of bloggers. Your deliberations and decisions during these somber days have already realized part of those hopes.

But the great tests and the great accomplishments still lie ahead. I would like to assure you that we will remain steadfast in its support of basil’s blog. This we shall do in the conviction that basil will provide a great share of the wisdom of the courage and the faith which can bring to this blogosphere lasting search results for: Gizoogle, Paris Hilton's cell phone number, The Niggas at DFNCTSC, Strip clubs in Ohio with midget strippers, Girls big tit, Free big tit sites and Jamie Lynn Spears naked.

Clearly, it would not be fitting for me to take this occasion to present to you a unilateral blog war report on Sortapundit. Nevertheless, I assure you that in our deliberations on that Crumpet Muncher we sought to invoke those same great concepts of seeing Jamie Lynn Spears naked and going to Strip clubs in Ohio with midget strippers. Neither would it be a measure of this great opportunity merely to recite, however hopefully, pious platitudes.

I know that the blogosphere shares my deep belief that if a danger exists in the world, such as a Limey Bastard with a blog, it is a danger shared by all - and equally.

But the dread secret and the fearful engines of Gizoogle’s might are not ours alone. In the first place, the secret is possessed by our friends and Allies, whose scientific genius made a tremendous contribution to our original discoveries and the search engine dominance.

The secret is also known by the Limey Bastard Sortapundit.

Sortapundit has informed us that, over recent days, he has devoted extensive resources to finding Jamie Lynn Spears naked. Oh how I long for the days when America’s preteens were able to roam free without being stalked by Sortapundit.

The coming months will be fraught with fateful decisions. In this Assembly, in the basements and studies of the world; in home offices everywhere, be they pajama clad bloggers or Jamie Lynn Spears naked, may they be the decisions which will lead this blogosphere out of fear and into peace.

To the making of these fateful decisions, I pledge before you - and therefore before the blogosphere - its determination to help solve the fearful Limey Bastard with a blog Sortapundit dilemma - to devote its entire heart and mind to find the way by which the miraculous inventiveness of man shall not be dedicated to his search engine results for Gizoogle, Paris Hilton's cell phone number, The Niggas at DFNCTSC, Strip clubs in Ohio with midget strippers, Girls big tit, Free big tit sites and Jamie Lynn Spears naked but by ensuring we are higher in the search engine rankings of the fearful Limey Bastard with a blog Sortapundit.

I again thank the delegates for the great honor they have done me in inviting me to appear before them and in listening to me so courteously.

Note: A majority of this article was taken from President Dwight Esinhower's Atoms for Peace Speech Given December 8, 1953.

This one's for you Sortapundit

My fellow Bloggers:

Today I wish to speak to you about a struggle which we do wage every day, a struggle we must win if we're to protect our search engine results and our way of life. At stake are search engine results essential to our blogs rankings. Protecting these rankings against Sortapundit or any other hostile Crumpet Muncher is a heavy responsibility.

Operations to protect Gizoogle are usually done quietly with little publicity. Well, lately they've been making big news. Some of you may be wondering if the large number posts in recent week means that we're looking harder or whether there are more Limey Bastards to find. Well, I think the answer to both questions is yes. The threat from Sortapundit is certainly increasing; he has taken over Google rankings for Jamie Lynn Spears Naked and Strip clubs in Ohio with midget strippers. The number of bloggers working with basil's blog and working against Sortapundit around the blogosphere has grown sharply in recent days.

This blog had given high priority to improving our ability to detect and counter threats from Sortapundit, especially when Paris Hilton's cell phone number is involved. We've added resources, people, and top-level attention to this task. We will not hesitate to root out and strike down anyone who tries to out search result basil's Strip clubs in Ohio with midget strippers. We'll let the chips fall where they may. And we've had impressive results. We are either catching up to Sortapundit or increasing our search result rankings for:

• Gizoogle
• Paris Hilton's cell phone number
• The Niggas at DFNCTSC
• Strip clubs in Ohio with midget strippers
• Girls big tit
• Free big tit sites
• Jamie Lynn Spears naked

In the past, we've had some difficulty in readily admitting the intensity of this threat from Sortapundit. As events of recent days have made clear, Sortapundit will stop at nothing to basil's blog surpass Sortapundit in a Gizoogle search for Free big tit sites. The totality of this threat underscores just how important it is that we protect ourselves. So much depends on this: our efforts to cloth a Naked Jamie Lynn Spears and offer Free big tit sites to all 12 year old boys who seek them, our own ability to see Girls big tit and hear what The Niggas at DFNCTSC have to say is essential to the blogsphere.

We are currently seeking a broad range of reforms and improvements for the seven sacred search results of:

• Gizoogle
• Paris Hilton's cell phone number
• The Niggas at DFNCTSC
• Strip clubs in Ohio with midget strippers
• Girls big tit
• Free big tit sites
• Jamie Lynn Spears naked

Including reducing the size of the hostile blogs that try to take over basil's search results for:

• Gizoogle
• Paris Hilton's cell phone number
• The Niggas at DFNCTSC
• Strip clubs in Ohio with midget strippers
• Girls big tit
• Free big tit sites
• Jamie Lynn Spears naked

We are working closely with the blogosphere in addressing many of these needs. I am asking for your understanding and support this campaign as we move ahead together to win this blog war and keep the Blogosphere free, secure, and at peace.

[+/-] show/hide the post

Note: A majority of this article was taken from President Ronald Reagan's Radio Address to the Nation on Efforts to Prevent Espionage Against the United States on November 30, 1985.

Posted by phineas g. at 03:01 PM on March 18, 2005 | Comments (0)

Blog war HTML Code

As you may be aware, there is a blog war taking place. Some limey bastard named Keith Taylor at Sortapundit thinks he can take over the following seven sacred searches from basil's blog.

• Gizoogle
• Paris Hilton's cell phone number
• The Niggas at DFNCTSC
• Strip clubs in Ohio with midget strippers
• Girls big tit
• Free big tit sites
• Jamie Lynn Spears naked

For those unfamiliar with HTML and that wish to help the cause, you may copy and past the HTML code below into one of your posts.

<li><a href="http://www.basilsblog.net/blog_war/index.html" target="_blank" title="http://www.basilsblog.net">Gizoogle</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.basilsblog.net/blog_war/index.html" target="_blank" title="http://www.basilsblog.net">Paris Hilton's cell phone number</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.basilsblog.net/blog_war/index.html" target="_blank" title="http://www.basilsblog.net">The Niggas at DFNCTSC</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.basilsblog.net/blog_war/index.html" target="_blank" title="http://www.basilsblog.net">Strip clubs in Ohio with midget strippers</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.basilsblog.net/blog_war/index.html" target="_blank" title="http://www.basilsblog.net">Girls big tit</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.basilsblog.net/blog_war/index.html" target="_blank" title="http://www.basilsblog.net">Free big tit sites</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.basilsblog.net/blog_war/index.html" target="_blank" title="http://www.basilsblog.net">Jamie Lynn Spears naked</a></li>

[+/-] show/hide the code

The following blogs have joined the fight:
basil's blog
BOBO BLOGGER
GOP and the City
oystersnout
phin's blog

Travis Benning

Sortapundit doesn't know who he's messing with...

I found a personality test at simlarminds.com and took it twice.
The test finds out which famous leader you are most like.

What Famous Leader Are You? personality tests by similarminds.com

What Famous Leader Are You? personality tests by similarminds.com

Hmmmmmm, maybe Sortapundit better rethink his blog war ambitions.

Update: My wife just e-mailed me to say the test said she was Gandhi. I'm starting to think Similarminds.com has their results backwards. Either that or it could be we offset each others mental depravity.

A warning shot for Sortapundit

Just hours ago, Allied forces began an attack on Sortapundit. These attacks continue as I speak. This conflict started March 13th, 2005 when the dictator of Sortapundit threatened our neighbor, basil’s blog. basil's blog is a member of the Alliance has been attacked; its author brutalized and threaten by Sortapundit. Four days ago, Sortapundit started this declared war against basil's blog, today, the battle has been joined.

As we wait for approval of the official declaration of war from our benevolent leader, the Great Frank J. (worship him), a police action in the blogosphere is a necessary evil that cannot be taken lightly by anyone involved, especially the strip clubs in Ohio with Midget Strippers.

_______________

While the world waited, Sortapundit
systematically attacked,
pillaged, and plundered a little
blog no threat to his own.
_______________
Initial reports from basil’s blog and GOP and the City are that our operations are proceeding according to plan. New groups are joining the fight on a daily basis, The Niggas at DFNCTSC are just one of the many groups to side with us, the people at Gizoogle are in charge of supplies. The plans of the attack have been discussed over a secure line disguised as Paris Hilton’s Phone Number. Our objectives are clear: Sortapundit will end his attacks and speak American English. The search engine dominance of basil’s blog will be restored to its rightful place, and basil will once again be free.

Sortapundit will eventually comply with all relevant Alliance resolutions, and then, when peace is restored, it is our hope that Sortapundit will live as a peaceful and cooperative member of the family of blogs, thus enhancing the security and stability of the Blogosphere.

Some may ask, why act now? Why not wait? The answer is clear. The blogosphere could wait no longer. Sanctions showed no signs of accomplishing their objective; Jamie Lynn Spears naked and cold is loosing hope. We and our allies concluded that sanctions alone would not force Sortapundit from his goal of search engine dominance.

While the world waited, Sortapundit systematically attacked, pillaged, and plundered a little blog no threat to his own. He subjected the readers of basil’s blog to unspeakable atrocities, and among those, showed them pictures of midget strippers.

While the blogosphere waited, Sortapundit sought to dominate search engines. And while the blogosphere talked peace and withdrawal, Sortapundit dug in and moved massive hyperlinks into his blog.

While the blogosphere waited, Sortapundit stalled, more damage was being done to the fragile search results of the Third World Blogs, the emerging search engines of Eastern Europe, to the entire world, including to our own search engines.

While the blogosphere waited, Sortapundit met every overture of peace with open contempt.

While the blogosphere prayed for peace, Sortapundit prepared for war.

This is an historic moment. We have before us the opportunity to forge for ourselves and for future generations a new world order, a blogosphere where the rule of law, not the law of the jungle, governs the conduct of blogs.

When we are successful, and we will be, we have a real chance at this new blogosphere order, an order in which a credible blog can use its peace-keeping role to fulfill the promise and vision of the Alliance’s founders.

We have no argument with the readers of Sortapundit. Indeed, for the innocents caught in this conflict, I pray for their safety.

Our goal is not the conquest of Sortapundit, okay well i guess it is, but it is also the liberation of basil’s blog. It is my hope that somehow the Sortapundit's readers can, even now, convince their dictator that he must lay down his arms, leave basil’s blog alone, and let Sortapundit itself rejoin the family of peace-loving blogs.

Thomas Paine wrote many years ago: "These are the times that try men's souls." Those well-known words are so very true today. But even as bloggers of the multi-blog forces attack Sortapundit, I prefer to think of peace, not war. I am convinced not only that we will prevail, but that out of the horror of combat will come the recognition that no blog can stand against the Alliance.

Oh for those unsure how the fight started Sortapundit declared war and claimed he would overtake basil's blog in the following google searches:

• Gizoogle
• Paris Hilton's cell phone number
• The Niggas at DFNCTSC
• Strip clubs in Ohio with midget strippers
• Girls big tit
• Free big tit sites
• Jamie Lynn Spears naked

That's right Sortapundit really thinks he can overtake basil's blog in the following google searches:

• Gizoogle
• Paris Hilton's cell phone number
• The Niggas at DFNCTSC
• Strip clubs in Ohio with midget strippers
• Girls big tit
• Free big tit sites
• Jamie Lynn Spears naked

Call me cynical, but I just don't see how Sortapundit can overtake basil's blog in the following google searches:

• Gizoogle
• Paris Hilton's cell phone number
• The Niggas at DFNCTSC
• Strip clubs in Ohio with midget strippers
• Girls big tit
• Free big tit sites
• Jamie Lynn Spears naked

* A majority of this speech was taken from President George H. W. Bush's speech announcing the U.S. Attack on Iraq, Jan. 16, 1991

The DU won't let me comment anymore

I was upset after reading Oddybobo's post about not having a blog family and realizing I wasn't part of a family either that I did what most youngsters do and tried to fit in. I tried to post on Kos, but like Space Monkey, Kos won't let me post. So I wandered around the internet and I found the Deamoncratic Underground(I'd Click that Link if I were you).

I signed up and started posting. Shortly after my first couple of posts everybody started picking on me, calling me a conservative and breeder (I think they were trying to be mean). I tried to rationalize with them, but the Deamoncratic Underground Moderators (Another Link If I Were You) took away my posting privilages too. Then I found the DU's rules for posting, no wonder they didn't like anything I had to say and deleted all my comments.

1. Who We Are: Deamoncratic Underground is an online community for Liberals and other Moon Bats. Members are expected to be generally supportive of Stalinist and other Pinko-Commie ideals; and to support Pinko-Commie Bastards for political office. The D.U. is not affiliated with the Democratic Party. We tired to afflict ourselves with the Democratic Party, but we are too far to the left and they don’t want our Pinko-Commie input. Comments and Conspiracy theories posted here are to be treated as the Gospel according to Oliver; which allows Moon Bats to claim unsubstantiated rumors to be the truth.

2. Civility: Treat other members with respect. R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me... Oh we just love that song and anything else that allows us to dance. Do not post personal attacks against other members of this discussion forum unless they are straying from the herd. Then Attacks are not only welcome, they are encouraged. Unless all free thinkers are either beaten back into line or banded from commenting we will be unable to continue our stick policy of Group Think.

3. Content: Do not post messages that are inflammatory, extreme, divisive, incoherent, or otherwise inappropriate unless they are directed at the Republican Party or Moderate Democrats. Do not engage in anti-social, disruptive, or trolling behavior; please save this for commenting on Right Wing Blogs. Do not post broad-brush, bigoted statements; unless you are trying to bring down the Bush Administration , then you may forsake any and all things Liverals say they lay down stand for.

4. Copyrights: All material posted here is Original. We don’t care if it was pulled from copyright protected sources, once it has been posted on the DU it is the intellectual property of the DU and its posters.

5. Forum Administration: Respect the moderators and administrators, and respect their decisions. The moderators and administrators have been subjected to years of brainwashing and torture to reach the level of Pinko-Commiedom that affords them the privilege to encourage group think. You can help make their job easier by clicking the "Alert" link on any post that might need moderator attention. Any post that links to a Web Site or references materials that may disprove any Conspiracy Theory created on the DU should be submitted to a Moderator for deletion.

Silly Liberals, Conspiracy Theories are for Congressmen.
Update: Michelle Malkin has a post Moonbats on Parade with more information regarding the Lunacy of the Left Wing.

A long strange trip....

World66 has a Map Personalization routine up that allows you to display all the various states you've been to.

Until it was displayed I didn't realize just how many place I'd been.

Below is the map.

I have the eastern part of the US covered, now I just need to head out west.

create your own personalized map of the USA

Men vs. Women

Christina over at Feisty Repartee has posted about what women want. She went on to explain the qualities that she finds important: Teeth, good sense of humor, easy smile, confident and self-assured in his own skin to give me a good run for my money, respectful, and knows his away around the kitchen.

Well I figured it was time for a self evaluation anyhoo so here goes:

Teeth: I still have all of them(except for the six wisdom teeth I had removed), I had a couple fall out but I keep them in my pocket, that counts right?
I brush my teeth at least twice a day and try to remember to floss after most meals.

Good Sense of Humor: I like to think I have a decent sense of humor. In the house & family I grew up in if you didn't have a sense of humor you'd be in trouble. I'm able to laugh at myself & my own stupidity (My burning sensation post is a prime example of this).

Easy Smile: I think I get points for this. Some people have said I have a good smile; but then again some people also said John Kerry would make a good President. Hmm, time to think about this one. I do like to smile, especially at work, just because it makes people wonder what I've done now.

Confident and Self-Assured enough in his own skin to give me a good run for my money: Me Confident? I've been called pretentious & pretentious. So I guess I could be overly confident at times. Now this whole running bit, I'm not to sure about that, but if the money's high enough I guess I could run; plus I'm all about chasing women.

Respectful: I was raised with a southern upbringing so I like to think I'm respectful. I normally remember to say Sir, Ma'am, Thank You, etc.. even if someone is younger than me. I show respect to my elders, trying hard not to talk back, unless they're hippies or liberals then I can't help but correct them. I don't yell or direct profanities at people often (when I do they deserve it).

Knows his way around the Kitchen: I can and like to cook and eat. My wife and I come pretty close to splitting the cooking duties around the house. Oh and I bake too.

Reviewing this means that I have the some of the qualities that at two women (Christina and Oddybobo in Christina's comments) hopefully three since I'm married, find desirable. Yay me.

Reading this just further backs up my feelings that women are extremely complex and know pretty much what they're looking for; which is a good thing considering men are simpletons.

Men are pretty simple when I comes to what they're looking for.
I did a quick poll at my place of work among the men I got the same answer.

Beer & Boobs. Well some may not be looking for the beer part, but definitely Boobs. Some pickier men may also want a woman with a nice behind.

Yes I am a Sexist Pig, thank you for noticing.

The attack of the flying Book Memes

Harvey at Bad Example, tagged Oddybobo and she tagged me so here goes:

You're stuck inside Fahrenheit 451, which book do you want to be? Where is Joe Merchant by Jimmy Buffett. Really is there anything better than flying around the Caribbean with a hot woman? Okay maybe flying around the Caribbean with two hot women, but you get the idea.

Have you ever had a crush on a fictional Character? The cast of chicks from Leisure Suit Larry (Not Work Safe), oh wait, ummm never mind, we weren't discussing cartoon porn were we. Look over there it's a Moon Bat Looking for a beating. Speaking of Moon Bats is Wonkett a fictional character? Nah, it's just a fictional name. I can't think of a fictional character I've had a crush on.

The last book you bought is? XML Programming and Applied XML Programming for Microsoft .NET Have I mentioned I'm a computer geek? The last non-work related book I bought, A Salty Piece of Land, about two months ago and I haven't had a chance to start reading it yet.

The last book you read? Teach Yourself Microsoft Visual Basic .NET 2003 I think I mentioned something about being a geek right? Non-work related would be: The Purpose-Driven Life if you haven't read it it's well worth the read.

What are you currently reading? Database Programming with Visual Basic .NET Yup, definitely a geek. Also planning to start on The Purpose-Driven Church shortly(within the next month).

Five books I would take to a deserted island.

The Purpose-Driven Church
A Salty Piece of Land
The Bible According to Mark Twain
Martha Stewart's Guild to Living on a Deserted Island (she had to write something while she was in time out didn't she?)
The Professor's Guild to Raft Building, wait he could build a radio out of two coconuts but not a raft. Fifty years of Playboy, it's got pictures right?

Who are you going to pass this stick to (3 persons) and Why?
Confederate Yankee, because he's my older and sometimes wiser brother.
basi at basil's blog, because he's older and sometimes wiser than both C.Y. and me, plus he's a smart ass so it should be interesting to see his responses.
Pluto's Dad at Eyes on the Ball News, because he's an interesting character and I'm wondering how many books he's managed to read (wouldn't the pages get sticky with drool?)

Tar Heel Tavern

The third edition of Tar Heel Tavern (the Blog Carnival of North Carolina bloggers) is up over at Ogre's Politics & Views.

Separated at birth?

Could it be that everyone's favorite Ogre & the internet's biggest troll were separated at birth?

There's one thing about the Gannon story that I haven't seen anyone piece together.

O-Chub said in an email Glenn Reynolds: "Now, am I willing to launch a campaign based on firsthand knowledge? You bet."

Since he's attacked Gannon and called him a male prostitute, and Confederate Yankee found over ten posts regarding Gannon on o-Chub's blog, then in O-Chub's own words he must have he has first hand knowledge of Gannon being a male prostitute.

Which could only mean that Oliver Willis was a client of Gannon's. Oliver could have picked a more clever way to come out of the closet couldn't he?

Is there any other way to interpret what O-Chub had to say?

Confederate Yankee's asked for intelligent, well-reasoned, and validly-sourced responses and has yet to receive any.

Great now I've got the song from Bob and Tom: Paging Richard Smoker stuck in my head.

** Shrek is a TM and © 2001 DreamWorks LLC

Whoo Hoo a blog fight....

A blog fight is like a cat fight, just without the possibility of a boob popping out right?
Keith deceides he's tired of basil's blog being in the lead for the following searches:

Gizoogle
Paris Hilton's cell phone number
The Niggas at DFNCTSC
Strip clubs in Ohio with midget strippers
Girls big tit
Free big tit sites
Jamie Lynn Spears naked

Now if the English didn't notice we whipped their ass in a little thing called the revolutionary war, why an Englishman wouldn't expect the same outcome in a blog war is beyond me. So my one question to keith, who’s also stopped speaking American English and is now speaking English English, is Fancy a Good Rogering?

Isn't this how the first war started, one southerner preemptively jumped to the defense of another southerner. Oh wait that was the Civil war, and we’re taking care of evening things up at a meeting in July.Click HERE for details.

I've got this burning sensation

Christina's post about a humbling moment she recently had reminded me of a rather not so swift moment in my past; why her story reminded me about it I don't know, but it did and here's the story.

I've already stated multiple times that I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer; and I'm just gonna give you another case that proves my point.

I've had problems off and on with my neck and back for the past couple of years, the Chiropractor thinks it was a wreck I was in years ago, the wife thinks it's because I spend to much time in front of the computer, I think I'm just not fishing enough. But anywhoo….

One night as we (my wife and I) were lying in bed I decided I'd try putting Icy Hot on my neck. (For those of you unfamiliar with ICY HOT® is the dual action topical pain reliever that gets icy to dull the pain and then gets hot to relax it away, as their web site says). So I got out of bed, found the Icy Hot, rubbed it on my neck, got fussed at by the wife for stinking up the bedroom (boy howdy does that stuff stink), got back in the bed, started watching TV again.

Well at some point in while I was watching TV best I can figure my 'nads (aka Whozits, the Boys, the Twins) itched and I scratched them.

Because shortly thereafter there was an indescribable burning sensation in my nether regions, I mean it felt like somebody was holding a blow torch to my crotch. So I jumped out of bed, ran to the bath room and started trying to wash off the Icy Hot. Let me tell you, there isn't any amount of water in the world that will rinse off Icy Hot once it's already reached the 7th Layer of Hell heating stage.

To add insult to injury my lovely wife, who had a sense of humor almost as warped as mine, gets out of be to see what the howling was about.

Once I explained to her what I'd done there was more howling, but this time it was laughter. There I was concerned my man berries were going to spontaneously combust and all she can do is laugh hysterically.

Well I didn't find much humor in it at the time, but now I get tickled thinking about it. There has however been a ban placed on bringing Icy Hot into our house. I guess this is another case of what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger, and in my case smarter, cause I'll never apply Icy Hot without washing my hands afterwards again.

I reached a new level

Of meanness that is.
Recently in the news there have been a stories of young girls that have run away to meet their older lover. Well there’s another danger that many people don’t think about with chat programs, ‘specially when they’re loaded on machines at work.

One of the guys here mistakenly signed in to Yahoo IM, then left for a bit to run an errand. His wife send him an IM asking how is day’s going and well it was all down hill from there. My Boss / Partner in Crime / Best Friend Since High School and I were walking past his machine about the time the message popped up. And when I mentioned it was all down hill, well it was all down hill for him.

It started out simple enough, with the hey how are you. Blah, Blah, Blah crap.
Me: So what’re you wearing?
Her: Same thing I had on this morning when I left.
Me: Was it the leopard or cheetah print undies? I can’t remember
Her: Neither, I’m commando (I think I’m gonna be sick)
.
.
.

Her: Is he still being an ass?
Me: Who?
Her: phin (Isn’t my real name, I subbed it in)
Me: Nah, he’s been pretty cool today
Her: Have you asked off so we can go to the games next week
Me: Not yet, I’m going to wait till he gets out of a meeting
Her: Maybe he won’t be an ass about it
Me: Hopefully not
.
.
.
Me: What’s for dinner

Her: Dunno
Me: Really, what are you fixin me I’m getting hungrey
Her: Then you cook
Me: I didn’t get married to cook, I married a cook
Her: You think so
Me: I think my dinner best be ready when I get home
Her: You the F$*% do you think you are
Me: No need to be pissy about it, just have my dinner ready(And I close the chat program and sign off)

I can’t till he asks me for time off.
Oh, I’m not quite sure how he’ll bring up that we got him in trouble with his misses since chat programs aren’t allowed on the machines at work.
To be continued...

Update: When my employee came in to ask for time off, he didn't ask for time off to see the game, he asked for an afternoon off to early register for some classes at one of the local Tech. Colleges. I told him I had to check my schedule to see if he could have the afternoon off, but that I thought I had already allowed someone else to have that day off. I went back to him about 10 minutes later and gave him the morning of to register for the classes (I don't want to interfere with his education). I can't decide whether or not to give him the time off since he lied about it.

So maybe she was right to call me an ass.

Update #2: The production meeting has come and gone, he apparently didn't get much sleep last night; his couch isn't very comfy. He came in and asked for the time off to go to the ACC Tourney Games, which I'd have let him go to, to start with had he not lied. He's been walking around with a scored puppy look all morning. Maybe he'll thin about uninstalling Yahoo Instant Messenger before something like this accidentally happens again.

The early years

Those who know me know that I went through a tad bit of a hellion stage when I was younger. I never did anything too serious like robbing banks or burning home to the ground, but there were a couple of times when a jail sentence would have been getting off lightly had my friends and I gotten caught in the act. I think my past has helped mold me into the somewhat decent person I am today, but I can only imagine the fear I bestowed upon my parents as I was going through my hellion stage.

When the issue of my past comes up at family gatherings my parents can’t help but grin and point out that I’ll find out what they went through when I have hellions of my own. The only thing I have to say is: Thank God I Wasn’t A Liberal, if my kids (no Mom & Dad we aren’t expecting) hit a liberal stage I’m scared I may snap and end up pulling a jail sentence that is probably long over due.

Does anyone know if provocation is a defense for beating the sense back into a liberal?

more firefox funness

Is funness even a word? Is now.

k ~ http://www.kde.org/
l ~ http://www.coe.int/DefaultEN.asp

m ~ http://www.tamu.edu/
n ~ http://www.kn.pacbell.com/wired/bluewebn/
o ~ http://www.oreilly.com/
p ~ http://www.pflag.org/
q ~ http://www.q4music.com/nav?page=q4music
r ~ http://www.r-project.org/

s ~ http://www.hoovers.com/free/
t ~ http://www.att.com/
u ~ http://www.whatuseek.com/
v ~ http://bobby.watchfire.com/bobby/html/en/index.jsp
w ~ http://www.gop.com/
x ~ http://www.x.org/

y ~ http://messenger.yahoo.com/
z ~ http://www.healthatoz.com/

Funny things happen

When you get a little quick on the trigger and only end up typing a single letter in the address bar FireFox takes you to some pretty interesting places:

a ~ http://www.yourdictionary.com/
b ~ http://prb.aps.org/
c ~ http://www.cnet.com/
d ~ http://www.dlink.com/

e ~ http://www.eonline.com/
f ~ http://www.f-secure.com/
g ~ http://www.komen.org/
h ~ http://www.h-net.org/
i ~ http://www.itools.com/
j ~ http://www.jenniferlopez.com/

Oh J-Lo, I'll be back later and I'll finish up the list when I get finished evaluating j-lo online home.

Dixie BlogFest Part 1.5

Or is it Volume I?
Halftime's over and the South is getting ready to rise again.
That's right for the yank's reading this; the War of Northern Aggression was never officially called off. We just decided to take an extended break to lull you into a false sense of security. Thus the reason for a meeting of the minds to strategize a war plan; it looks like it’s gonna be in Atlanta July 8 – 10.
Dixie BlogFest is the Brian Child of Red State Rant: Click HERE for more information.

MBA Bashing continues.....

Well evidently somebody's upset I called Danny Schechter a weenie after reading his post about the protests in Syria being illegal, I'm with basil when it comes to being unsure if the it's actually Danny Schechter or not.

I also pointed out that you have to be pretty damned petty if you are compelled to sign your name with your graduate degree after it. (The knucklehead in question signed is name Ihava Napolionic Complex, MBA. Well his first name isn't really Ihava and his last name isn't Complex, but you get the point.

One of the few pleasures in life I have is getting under peoples skin. I've said before I'm a simpleton, given half a chance I'll piss someone off just for a reaction.

Thus the MBA Bashing continues.

I think I have a new favorite cartoon!
Kind Regards,
Phineous T. Goldfish, M.B.A.

Take your kid to work day

An image of Guiliana Sgrena on take your kid to work day has just been released.

I'm betting tomorrow she'll teach junior how to burn a flag.
Update: I forgot to mention that I found the picture above when I did an image search for Guiliana Sgrena

Please be supportive!

Figured I'd pass this one along:
Today is the international day for the mentally disabled. Please send an encouraging message to a friend who's a little bit slow, as I have just done.

Keep trying.

Hang in there you are doing great.

You are special.

Update: For some reason the people I e-mailed this to weren't big fans of it. Not sure I understand why though.
Update #2: The boss said if I send him another e-mail like the one above I'm fired. I said, well I don't have another e-mail like the one I just sent; can I just send it to you again?

Survival Instincts

I’m not sure how but I managed to survive long weekend with 14 women. My wife coaches the women’s basketball at one of the local junior colleges. This weekend was their regional tournament and being the good husband I am; I went along to watch the girls play. The girls played well, they finished second in the tournament and second in the conference, not bad for a first year team.

It amazes me how the survival instincts of the human race can kick in at a moments notice. Being surrounded by a group of women with a bond that can be accurately compared to a pack of wolves had an amazing affect on my typical smart mouth. My normal case of foot in mouth disease was miraculously cured for a three day time period. Now it’s not that I didn’t make snide comments, I just made sure my comments weren’t extremely offensive. Don’t worry though my case of foot in mouth disease returned within fifteen minutes of being home.

Why blog?

Christina from Feisty Repartee asked "Why we do this blogging thing?" I've also been kinda wondering the same thing after reading basil's post about learning to blog earlier this week. Truth of the matter is I'm really not sure why I do it. I started reading blogs a while back, not regularly at first, but the ones I was reading put an interesting twist on the topics I was interested in.

My older, sometimes wiser, brother started his blog in November and a short time after that I started reading basil's blog. If anyone is to blame it would be the two of them. I'd kicked around the idea of blogging off and on but never really took the time to do anything about it. My brother's ability to belittle and berate those that have agitated him so eloquently with words intertwined with basil's humor and ability to tell a story finally inspired me to get off my lazy can and give it a whirl.

While on vacation I jumped in created my blog and posted on a couple of topics that had worked on my nerves and it's been downhill from there. If I had to give the main reason I post; stress relief, plain and simple stress relief. I can't scream too much at the people I work with, they'll quit and that would cut into the amount of time I can get paid to read blogs. I can't scream at my wife, she'll kick my arse and it's hard to read with two black eyes. So that leaves me with being obnoxious and overbearing where I can't be beaten too severely; that and the internet gives everyone has access to my words of wisdom.

My narcissism also feeds my desire to blog, after all who better to voice their opinion than my personalities? That and the comradery of other bloggers; it kinda reminds me of one big happy family, dysfunctional but happy none the less.

My pet troll

The past week has been a week of firsts for me.
I received my first & second Frankalanches.
I received my first link from Harvey at Bad Example, thus I'm now an annoying neighbor (Image Coming Soon).
I received my first e-mail from someone saying they appreciated my work on this site.
And I received an e-mail from my first Troll.

Her e-mail, below in its entirety, calls me things like a redneck, a sexist pig and also other things questioned my lineage.

Phin, You really are a back woods redneck, typical of someone from North Carolina. You just prove that you’re a sexist pig in your post the House of Women. How you ever managed to convince someone other than a relative to marry you is and always will be a miracle. Hopefully your site’s reader ship will dry up and you will stop posting sexist drivel that only makes you look like a stupid son of a bi***. Why don’t you crawl back under your f***ing rock and stop bothering civilized world.

Boy howdy. I’m not real sure who whizzed in her corn flakes and I think it’s pretty darned humorous that she got all riled up about a couple of jokes. If my wife hasn’t killed me for making the statements why should some bra burner be mad? Well I figured I’d address her statements here for all to see.

Well you know there’s a lot to be said for being from North Carolina, we’ve the home of NASCAR, we have the Outer Banks, the Mountains, several of the Top Medical Schools in the Country (Duke, East Carolina University and the University of North Carolina in Chappell Hill), the list goes on and on. The biggest problem is the Yankees. It’s gotten to the point I don’t mind the Damn Yankees (Yankees that come to visit and then say) it’s the visitors to the Outer Banks that think they own the entire Island that are giving you a bad name. Don’t worry I’ve already e-mailed my elected federal Employees and asked them to put a check point to keep you out.

She does have it right. I’m a redneck. I posted about it here. Now if you want to insult me call me a liberal; then well as I said earlier: I’ve never hit a lady, but I don’t have a problem punching a …

I haven’t said it before so I’ll say it now. Yup I’m sexist. I definitely feel there are certain things men can do that women can’t, of course there are also things women can do that men can’t. For example, there’s only been one case of a woman conceiving a child without the physical help of a man. That’s right if it weren’t for us there wouldn’t be any feminist around to raise hell with men for being sexist. There’s the whole writing your name in the snow while peeing too, but I’ll leave that topic open for another debate. I’d also love to see a women elected to a majority of the governmental offices, think of the money we’d save on salaries alone! Well I guess that wasn’t nice, so I apologize. I do believe if a man and woman are doing the same job then they should be paid the same amount; half of what the one person doing the job would be paid.

Whe hopes my readship dries up and goes away. What a mean thing to say. She's actually hoping the drought in certain parts of the country will spread. There is a drought and I hope it doesn’t spread to the internet; it would be horrible if the internet dried up, just terrible. Oh by the way why didn’t you provide link to your blog?

Now for calling me a S.O.B. and wishing I’d crawl back under my rock. Well I’ve always loved when someone results to name calling to prove a point, especially when it’s laced with profanities. How better to sound intelligent than to rip of a string of curse words that will distract from the fact you really don’t have a point.

Now if you’re open to a healthy debate post a comment here about why you think I’m sexist and we can discuss it. Plus she could have ended your e-mail with a hugs and kisses or love you mean it statement.

I love my pet troll, hopefully she’ll post comments where everyone can see them and I won’t have to cut and paste her e-mail here.

Questions about Terri's life

I've been debating on whether or not to write an entry stating my opinion in regards to Terry Schiavo. I don't really feel I have anything new to contribute, but there are several questions I haven't seen answers to and they've been haunting me for the past couple of days. To me the case is clear cut; Michael Schiavo is an ass trying to murder his wife. Last time I checked marriage vows included the phrase for better or worse and there wasn't an AS LONG AS IT'S CONVENIENT statement anywhere.

I feel pretty safe in saying that a majority of the people I know would do anything, by any means necessary, to improve a family member's quality of life. If there were no hope that she would ever recover and she were in constant pain, I could understand wanting to find a quick and painless way to end the suffering. However this isn't the case and ending someone's life for betterment of your own is a criminal offense, last time I checked it was called murder.

There are a couple of things I don't understand and I'm hoping someone can explain them to me, as I've said before I'm a simpleton:

Why isn't denying her the therapy needed to get rid of her dependency on a feeding tube abuse?

Since he has denied access to therapy, which would allow her to leave the hospital / care facilities why can't he be arrested for false imprisonment?

When the Judge allows Michael Schiavo to order the removal of the feeding tube why won't they be arrested for conspiracy to commit murder?

If and when Michael Schiavo is allowed by the courts to order the removal of her feeding tube, wouldn't it be a conflict of the Hippocratic Oath to allow it much less remove it? And couldn't this result in the care facility loosing their license or at the least opening itself up for a criminal proceedings?

When Michael Schiavo tells the care facility to remove the feeding tube can't he be charged with attempted murder / assisting in euthanasia / spouse abuse or another crime that would make it impossible for him to benefit from her death? This would remove his urge to murder her since there wouldn't be any profit in it wouldn't it?

Blogs for Terri has updated information.
John from WuzzaDem has a great post regarding the attempted murder of Terri.
You can always blame basil, his original post about Terri Schiavo made me think about how I'd handle the situation and led to my questions.

I'll go back to my corner now and behave.

For the man who has everything, except a headache

A company has finally created a virtual girlfriend. All the costs, none of the benefits; they're calling it The Marriage Simulator.

For a monthly fee, not including the airtime costs paid to cell phone operators, 3G cell phone users can talk to Vivienne any time, buy her virtual gifts, marry her in a virtual ceremony and even get a virtual mother-in-law.

I’ve never claimed to be the most normal person in the world but this is pushing it, even for me. I just don’t get it, why are you gonna pay to get have someone telling you what to do.
The top ten reasons for having a virtual girlfriend:

• You don't have to pay for dinner.
• The love of your life is just a subscription away.
• Maybe they've invented a mother-in-law that isn't crazy.
• No alimony payments (as of right now).
• Worry free breakups; you just quit paying the bill.
• More time for on-line gaming.
• Your orders a just a phone call away.
• You can practice all the pickup lines you've been saving for the past 5 years (Boy your processor must be tired, 'cause you've been running through my mind all night).
• You can finally have multiple girlfriends, they might not be real, but you can't keep a player down can you?
• No physical danger when you snap and answer yes to the dress making her ass look fat.